Why Do God Allow Suffer۔ing?
What had
keep۔d baby Rosita
alive wuz prayer. That wuz the belief of
her mother, Carolina Mendez, and in Buenos Aires few who know۔d the story un۔agree۔d. Thus dur
the winter mornin of 12 July 2008, when Rosita, crawl۔ing on sit·room rug, begin۔d another cough۔ing session, Carolina as
usual, after pick۔ing
she up, hold۔ing she
to her shoulder and, pat۔ing
her rear۔side, murmur۔d, “God, please dont let my
baby die.” Soon Rosita
wuz peaceful۔ly suck۔ing milk from Carolina’s
rightside breast, and in the third-floor·level۔y
apartment all wuz good again. “Thank
you, God,” whisper۔d
Carolina as her baby shut۔d
her eyes and lapse۔d
into her sleep-breathe۔in
rhythm. * Until three
months before her baby wuz birth۔d,
Carolina – at age 23 her body stub۔y,
her brown hairs cut۔d
convenient۔by short – teach۔d first school·year at
Santa Maria Middle·school. Her
grandmother had die۔d
when Carolina wuz only six years old, but Carolina could still remember go۔ing to catholicmass with
she, and together day۔y
recite۔ing the
rosary. As a teenagorm, non۔alike most of her
learnclass۔fellors,
she had never become infatuate۔y
with guys. In her opinion, Buenos Aires’
husbands, alike those elsewhere in nation Argentina and throughout Espanya۔ese-speak۔in America, tend۔d to be macho and boss۔y, thus require۔ing from they's wifes a
certain amount of kowtow۔ing
plus do۔ing all or
almost all the house·work -- shop۔ing,
cook۔ing, clean۔ing – and almost all the
child care, all in addition the wifes’ own usual۔by
fulltime employment jobs. Some husbands
even hit۔d they’s wifes. Mans expect۔d
they's wifes to be sexual۔ly
available; mans typical۔ly
concentrate۔d on
they’s own pleasure, neglect۔ing
they’s wife’s pleasure, orgasm۔ing
and then roll۔ing over
to sleep (some snore۔ing). Therefore
Carolina, rather than focus on marriage alike so many of her friends, consider۔d become۔ing a religiousnun –
ultimate۔ly reject۔ing the idea because she
love۔d children, and
wish۔d for one of her
own. Instead, support۔t by h er large family , she attend۔d Pontifical Catholic
University’s Buenos Aires campus, commute۔ing
from her parents’ house via bus. Dur her
first year, among her learnclasses wuz History of Western Philosophy, which she
like۔d so much that
she decide۔d to
specialize on the topic, but her parents and grandparents reject۔d the idea as non۔practical. Therefore she settle۔d for a teach۔in
certificate, with a minor focus on philosophy. Along come۔d Fernando Mendez, old۔er brother of Carolina’s
old۔er brother’s
wife. A man of few words, 27 years old,
a Catholic who attend۔d
Sunday catholicmass whenever he wuz on land, who spend۔d most of his life in ocean ships, a good man,
all say۔d, who could
be depend۔t on to
return periodic۔ly
with money for his wife and children. He
arrive۔d after almost
a full year work۔ing
on a contain۔or ship,
meet۔d and fall۔d in love with mystery-eyes۔y Carolina, after a short
engagement marry۔d
she, re۔locate۔d with she into her
parents’ extra bed·room, and impregnate۔d
she. He wuz·not suit۔able for “land work”, he
say۔d, so dur
good-weather days while Carolina continue۔d
to teach first school·year he walk۔d
around the sprawl۔ing
city, otherwise he watch۔d
sports and news on television at home.
He wuz become۔ing
jitter۔y, she notice۔d, but they had agree۔d he would not return to
the ocean until after she wuz settle۔d
with they's new baby. Carolina wuz
become۔ing accustom۔d to have۔ing he there when she
return۔d home, but she
consider۔d he too
macho to shop or cook (“womans’ work”), and he like۔d sex “too much”. She quit۔d her teach۔ing job dur her dee۔seven month, dur August
year 2007. Fernando then surprise۔d she by announce۔ing that because she wuz
too pregnant to work at school, she wuz too pregnant to work at home,
henceforth he would assist her mother with household chores. Thus Carolina walk۔d her husband to the cheap۔est market and coach۔d he in bargain۔ing skills. Then she show۔d
he how to cook, and he prove۔d
to be a good learn۔or. Even clean۔ing
he do۔d routine۔ly, although when he wuz
nolonger around she or her mother had to re۔clean;
his and they’s definitions of “clean” wuz different. Beneath his silent, masculine exterior, she
note۔d with increase۔ing affection, her husky
sailor wuz sweet. `Meanwhile her body wuz change۔ing,
belly and breasts swell۔ing. Her thoughts increase۔ly focus۔d
on the grow۔ing life
within. In the
hospital delivery room with the doctor and nurses and her husband, as birth۔ing begin۔d, she feel۔d more wonderful than dur
any other occasion dur her life. However,
the baby girl, fresh into atmosphere of air, do۔d
not cry. The doctor had pick۔d she up and gentle۔ly slap۔d sher on her rear۔side, but the tiny
pale-skin۔y baby still
do۔d not breathe. It wuz then that that Carolina, lay۔ing on her rear۔side on her hospital bed,
her husband Fernando hold۔ing
her hand, sit۔d
straight up and cry۔d
out, “God, dont let my baby die!”
An instant later Rosita’s little face turn۔d
pink, and she begin۔d
cry۔ing. Rosita thus
survive۔d her birth,
but hospital tests reveal۔d
that her leftside lung wuz deform۔t: of no practical use. Mean۔ing
Rosita would live with only one lung, precarious۔ly. “Realistic۔ly,
her chance of live۔ing
a long life iz diminish۔t,”
warn۔d doctor Sanchez
who deliver۔d the
baby. Back in her
parents’ apartment, Carolina feel۔d
happy. To her help۔less baby who everybody say۔d wuz so cute; she yield۔d total۔ly to her maternal
instincts, and from the moment of birth love۔d
her baby more than anybody in the world.
But an undercurrent of worry wuz always present, and she remain۔d ever-watchful of her
baby’s health. Beyond that, dur pensive
moments as she watch۔d
Rosita sleep, she feel۔d
puzzle۔t. A devout۔ly
religious woman who never miss۔d
Sunday catholicmass nor day۔y
recite۔ing her rosary,
she could not imagine why God had, as it seem۔d,
‘punish۔d’ she. But, weapon۔t
with prayer, she determine۔d
to use her prove۔t
channel with God to keep her baby alive.
She had earhear۔d
many storys of prayer overcome۔ing
dire medical predictions, and she had faith that prayer would sustain her baby. Her husband
Fernando feel۔d less
confident. He fret۔d about “bad luck” birth۔ing a defective baby. “Better she die now, than after you become
too attach۔d to she,”
he comment۔d. “I iz
already too attach۔d
to Rosita,” answer۔d
Carolina. “I know God will save
she. God love we, and iz
all-powerful. God can do anythin.” Fernando
stay۔d another three
months until Carolina wuz strong again and had settle۔d into a routine. Then he board۔d
another freightor ship, and head۔d
back east۔north۔ward across ocean Atlantic. Since then,
the devout mother’s intense prayers had twice pull۔d back Rosita from the brink of death, both
occasions after spine-tingle۔ing
cough۔ing
sessions. Reside۔ing with her parents,
supplement۔t by what
Fernando had leave۔d
in they's joint moneybank account, Carolina choose۔d to stay home with Rosita, and so inform۔d her school. Both her parents work۔d daytime jobs, thus she stay۔d with Rosita alone. When Rosita wuz ten months old, Carolina
spend۔d weeks teach۔ing daughter to say “ma-ma’,
and when she do۔d,
smother۔d the tiny
being with grateful kisses. Two months
later she wuz attempt۔ing
to stand. “Soon she will be walk۔ing,” Carolina predict۔d cheerful۔ly at dinner one evenin. Daytimes
unless the weather wuz warm and sunshine۔y,
mother and baby daughter stay۔d
home. Beside care۔ing for and become۔ing acquaint۔d
with who she wuz already think۔ing
wuz a part of herself, she dur her many solitary moments continue۔d to wonder – the question
wuz never far away – why she had been saddle۔t
with a deform۔t
baby. God wuz omnipotent – all-powerful
– therefore could intervene in natural processes. God dint answer all prayers, but, ‘Why
should·not God answer mine?’ She had
always been strict۔ly
moral, had only romdate۔d
one man (her husband), never fail۔d
to attend Sunday catholicmass, say۔d
her rosary day۔y. Why would God kill her precious daughter who
had do۔d no
wrong? Why should God punish herself,
Carolina, who no one could say wuz not God obedient not moral۔by upright? No, God, she feel۔d certain, would sustain her daughter into
adult۔hood, and some
day medical research۔ors,
who had already invent۔d
artificial hearts, would find a way to re۔construct
and replace Rose's lung. Carolina would
do her part by continue۔ing
to live a Christian life, follow۔ing
all God’s commandments to the best of her ability, and continue۔ing her fervent prayers. * That
mid-winter mornin Rosita, not quite one year old, upon awake۔ing in her mother’s arms
after another cough۔ing
scare, cough۔d again. As Carolina rock۔d her back to sleep, she re-remember۔d her previous night’s
dream, in which she lay on her rear۔side
on her marital bed, look۔ing
up۔ward at Rosita, who
remain۔d suspend۔t slight۔by below the ceil۔in, hold۔d aloft by wind blow۔d from Carolina’s
mouth. Every time Carolina draw۔d in a breath, Rosita would
begin to fall back down۔ward,
force۔ing Carolina to
blow quick۔ly, to keep
her baby up. Nor, despite increase۔ing fatigue, could she stop
to rest. She wuz compel۔d to continue blow۔ing up۔ward or her baby would
fall, with no end to the dilemma in sight. Non۔expect۔ly Rosita cough۔d again, cause۔ing Carolina to resume
worry۔ing. Raise۔ing
a child that could die at any moment wuz a nervewracky, drain۔ing pleasure from mother۔hood. Again
Rosita cough۔d. Carolina feel۔d
frantic. Both her parents wuz at they's
jobs. Fernando wuz still away, on a
freight۔or somewhere
in the North Atlantic ocean. Carolina
glance۔d over at the
telephone, consider۔ing
telephone۔ing doctor
Sanchez. When she look۔d backdown, Rosita face
appear۔d bright pink. Cough, cough. “What,
baby?” ask۔d Carolina
desperate۔ly. Cough, cough, cough. Then a half-cough, and Rosita’s little head
seem۔d to go limp. Carolina
emit۔d a cry, as she
move۔d her hand to
baby’s chest. The little heart she could
not detect beat۔ing. Her eyes
wuz open but not move۔ing. Mother put۔d her hand over daughter’s
mouth. No breath come۔d. “Oh, God!”
cry۔d Carolina. “Dont let Rosita die!” She put she
on her shoulder and pat۔d
she, as dur many occasions before, but she do۔d
not respond. Minutes
pass۔d, which seem۔d alike clockhours. Still no response. Look۔ing down at the non۔move۔ing bundle in her arms, Carolina final۔ly accept۔d that her baby daughter
wuz dead. “Why, God,
why?” she wail۔d, as
tears stream۔d from
her eyes. “Why? Why?
Why? Why? Why?” * * Dur her
period of mourn۔ing
Carolina stay۔d in her
parents’ apartment, daytimes alone, clean۔ing,
often weep۔ing over
her loss but, increase۔ly,
return۔ing to her basic
question: why? All those answer۔t prayers, and then one non۔answer۔t one. “Why?’
It wuz·not true, as her husband had once suggest۔d, that it would have been better had the baby
die۔d at birth,
because dur Rosita’s short time on Earth, Carolina cherish۔d she. `Would not it have been great if God had give۔d me a normal baby?’ Instead, an adore۔able one who could die at a moment’s
notice. `Why me?’ She
consider۔d ask۔ing Father Martinez, her
priest, but feel۔d
shameful to be question۔ing
God. Nobody else – her family membors,
church friends, former school colleagues – venture۔d forth an answer. Eventual۔ly, she realize۔d that the question – why
do an all-love۔y
all-powerful God allow so much suffer۔ing?
– wuz a serious one. Nor would it go
away. In fact, the voice in her mind
compel۔ing she to
discover the reason behind her tragedy sound۔d
ever loud۔er, demand۔ing an answer. Her faith had been shake۔t. The religious rituals she love۔d, but only if they wuz
base۔d on a rock-solid
foundation. `God love everybody and can
do anythin, thus why dint he intervene?
She need۔d to
know. She suspect۔d the explanation would color her attitude
toward Catholicism and perhaps even God. Confide۔d she in her mother, `On
the answer to my question hinge my faith.’ Advise۔d her mother, “Dont trouble
yourself about it, dear.” Final۔ly, as winter become۔d springtime, Carolina
return۔d to teach۔ing first school·year – as
a substitute teach۔or
in varyous schools throughout Buenos Aires, until a more permanent position
become۔d available. That allow۔d
she plenty of variety, plenty to occupy her mind. Evenins she cook۔d for her father and mother, and afterward
clean۔d the
kitchen. Usual۔ly in the sit·room the three watch۔d television until bed۔time. Carolina
still had plenty of time to brood: less
then less from the death of Rosita and more then more about what seem۔d almost a betrayal by
God. She could not, she discover۔d, return to her old
religious innocence without first find۔ing
the answer. Meanwhile
her eyes wuz open۔ing
to the many un۔justices
around the planet, which she catch۔d
glimpses of on television news. Millions
of children wuz malnourish۔y,
some to the point of starve۔ing
for lack of food, while elsewhere millions of peoples suffer۔d from obesity from eat۔ing too much food. Millions die۔d
of diseases for lack of available vaccinations.
Some children wuz raise۔d
with health۔y food and
attend۔d universitys,
while others wuz home۔less
beg۔ors in filth۔y shanty·towns. `What,’ wonder۔d
Carolina, `could those millions of un۔fortunate
children have possible۔ly
do۔d wrong?’ Other
peoples wuz birth۔d
blind, or cripple۔d,
or dur wars, or dur famine. The more the
world’s un۔justice
come۔d to Carolina’s
attention, the good·luck۔yer
she feel۔d in her own
situation. Yet she remain۔d as puzzle۔d as ever as to why a
beneficent God would create a world with such suffer۔ing. ‘If God iz
really all-powerful, then God iz cruel.’
Nosooner do۔d
she have what she dub۔d
“that crazy thought” than she decide۔d
to end her mourn۔ing
and solve the mystery. ‘I will continue
ask۔ing until I know
the answer,’ she resolve۔d. * First
expert to be question۔t: father Martinez, the priest of Santa Maria
Catholic church. The kind old man, bald
with a fringe of gray۔ish
white hairs, plump, fat cheeks and goodnature۔y
laugh·wrinkles fan۔ing
out from the outsides of both brown eyes, usher۔d
she into his office and ask۔d
how she wuz feel۔ing,
four months after lose۔ing
her baby. “Much
better. Thank you, father. But questions burn in my soul.” Her words tumble۔d out.
"Why do۔d
God allow my baby to die? Why do۔d my Father possess۔ing infinite love and power
allow such a thing to happen? Iz there
great۔er wretched۔ness than a mother who
loose۔d her
child? Why do۔d God create a world so full of suffer۔ing?” The old
priest tiltlean۔d back
in his chair, prepare۔ing
a response. “And why
me?” Carolina wipe۔d away a tear and continue۔d. “Do۔d
I cause this? What do۔d I do to deserve this?” The priest
scratch۔d his bald head. “Perhaps your faith iz being test۔t." She frown۔d. “Perhaps.”
She breathe۔d
deep۔ly. “I have summarize۔d all my questions into one.” “Ask it, my
child.” “God iz
both all-love۔y and
all-powerful, thus why do he allow suffer۔ing?” “Suffer۔ing iz the big۔est motivate۔or toward god۔yness.” He pause۔d. “Misery iz attract۔d to religion.
Without hardship, would we even have religion? Religion alleviate anguish, distress, even
hope۔lessness.” “You mean
kill۔ing Rosita wuz
God’s way of urge۔ing
me to be more religious? If that wuz
God’s motive, I wish he could have tell۔d
me in a gentle۔er
way.” Say۔d the priest, “God’s
motives iz not always clear at the time.” “What possible۔ly
could have been good about my baby being birth۔t
with a deform۔t lung?” She withhold۔d
tears. “And then die۔ing.” “Difficult
to think of a good answer to that one,” Father Martinez say۔d sympathetic۔ly. “But we peoples can·not
comprehend, and thus can·not judge, God’s ways.” Walk۔ing back toward the street,
Carolina feel۔d non۔satisfy۔y with the priest’s
answers. That God, know۔d for infinite love,
utilize۔d suffer۔ing as a whip to urge
peoples to learn lessons seem۔d
to the first school·year teach۔orm
non۔probable. * Antonio
Morelos wuz a rare sciencor in that he wuz also religious. He and his wife and two little brunet
daughters regular۔ly
attend۔d Santa Maria
Catholic Church. One Sunday after the
worship celebration, at Social Clockhour in the Activitys Room, Carolina corner۔d he, and ask۔d he pointblank, “Why do۔d God create a world with
so much suffer۔ing?” Mistor
Morelos adjust۔ing his
necktie, begin۔d to
express condolences about her baby, but Carolina stop۔d he with her hand. “I still grieve, but, beyond that, I want an
answer to my question. My own suffer۔ing iz miniscule compare۔d to those of millions
elsewhere. Why do۔d God create a world with so much suffer۔in?” “Because
peoples iz animals. That iz your
answer,” state۔d the
sciencor, a zoologist. “Peoples iz
animals with souls, but we iz still animals with bodys nonethe۔less. And animals iz sometimes birth۔d deform۔t or become handicap۔t, many iz hunt۔t, they become injure۔t, succumb to accidents,
they suffer from natural disasters, they become old, infirm, they die.” She follow۔d his glance, over to where
his wife and daughters sit۔d
at a round table half۔way
across the room munch۔ing
on cake. “Please continue.” “Dur recent۔est centurys sciencors have
discover۔d cures, so
that peoples’ life۔spans
have double۔d, but we
still have far to go. Thus peoples iz
destine۔t to suffer. Carolina
nod۔d. “I see.” “Often when
one people die, many suffer.” “Sure.” “Peoples iz
an evolutionary specy. We iz attend۔ing the school of hard
knocks. The knocks hurt. Burn your finger, and henceforth you iz careful
of fire. And how often iz death – the
non۔escape۔able fate of all animals --
pleasant? Even the thought of death
causes some peoples distress.” “You make
it sound so natural.” “When
environment changes, as it always do, specys either adapt or die. Deformitys – physical aberrations -- iz
central to the theory of evolution, which states that in rare cases where those
deformitys (forex long۔er
fangs) increase the chance for survival, that animal’s offsprin will have a
better chance of survive۔ing,
etcetera, until, multiple birthcycles later, that trait will have enrich۔d the entire specy. Most deformitys iz deadend failures, but a
scant few become build۔ing
blocks to preserve and advance the specy.” Carolina
nod۔d. “Rosita’s deform۔t lung make more sense in the big scheme of
things.” The
sciencor, after a quick glance at his sit۔in
family, nod۔d. “Peoplese iz spirits in bodys. We cant escape the biology, chemistry, and
physics of animal life.” Ride۔ing home after church with
her mother and father, Carolina feel۔d,
without know۔ing why,
better. True, as she had learn۔d in middle·school biology
class, deform۔y births
wuz the key ingredient for specy evolution, and thus for survival within change۔ing environments. And, true, almost all deformitys fail۔d to enrich the specy. `Being animals, we iz bound to suffer in
physical ways,’ she had learn۔d
from the sciencor. ‘Part of the answer,’
Carolina’s instinct tell۔d
she, `but only part.’ * “What exact۔ly iz a moralist?” ask۔d Carolina. She wuz sit۔ing in an office, face۔ing on the opposite side of
a glass۔top desk a
middle-age۔y woman,
plump, wear۔ing a
green two-piece suitset. Carolina had
notice۔d her advert in
the rear of “Spiritualist”, a gratis month۔y
magazine dedicate۔d to
alternative spiritual approaches. She
had already pay۔d her
fee. “A moralist
iz somebody who emphasize morality as the cornerstone of happy۔ness.” “Dont all
religions emphasize morality?” “They do,
but as side issues, add-ons, so to speak. “Therefore
moralists iz atheists?” question۔d
Carolina. Teresa
Hernandez shake۔d his
head, no. Moralists, philosophic۔ly, iz areligious: neither religious, agnostic, nor
atheist. We consider religion
non-essential in solve۔ing
the world’s great problems. Morality iz
what iz need۔d, not
religion. Religions teach some morals,
but violate others. Look what the
religious Europens have do۔d
to theyselfs throughout they's two-millennium long history of lethal wars. Religions sometimes even do more harm than
good: forex, the Crusades, and
witchorm-burn۔in. Nor iz religion necessary for morality. Look at present-day Western Europe – a moral
but essential god۔less
society – and China – historic۔by
and present۔by God۔less – as proof.” “Thus you
personal۔ly iz an
atheist?” “Heavens,
no. I iz a church-go۔ing evangelize۔or. Each moralist, alike everybody else, decide
for taself about religion. For we, what
iz important iz that peoples comprehend that moral behavior iz the keystone to
global happy۔ness.” Carolina
nod۔d, motion۔ing for she to continue. “Moral
evolution iz a slow process, with many reverse steps. But morality can be teach۔t. The more peoples learn from they's teach۔ors, the less they will
need to learn the hard – suffer۔ing
– way. “What about
law?” “Laws and
morality may or may not overlap. Strict
but fair laws with sensible punishments contribute to morality by limit۔ing temptation. Where there iz a conflict between the two,
morality should always trump law.
Example: Do not fight in an
army’s un۔just
mission.” “I
comprehend.” She breathe۔d deep۔ly. A silence,
the first of they's meet۔ing. “Now,” say۔d the moralist. “You say۔d
you had a question?” She nod۔d. “Why do God allow peoples to suffer?” “God dont
‘allow’ peoples to suffer; on the contrary, peoples make decisions, even select
life-styles, which result in they's own suffer۔ing. We have the free will to choose right from
wrong – hence the possibility of evil – and if we choose wrong there iz
consequences.” She pause۔d. “Most suffer۔ing
these days iz nolonger physical but emotional.
Most peoples nolonger need to forage for food dur a drought, but could
lose spouse, children, and house in divorce lawcourttrial. Today most of peoples' suffer۔ing iz cause۔t by other's peoples’ un۔moral acts.” Carolina
nod۔d. “Examples?” “War, the
great cause of peoples’ suffer۔ing,
dur the recent۔est
century kill۔ing more
than 100 million peoples. Crime kill۔d and hurt۔d millions more. For every death, many suffer. Lopside۔y
distribution of wealth, some peoples with more than they could ever spend,
others with not enough to eat. Deceit
split marriages, betrayal end friendships, leave۔ing
feel۔ins of resentment
and distress. Selfish۔ness and greed, forex when
divide۔ing inheritance,
tear familys apart, never without agony.” “Thus you
iz say۔ing most suffer۔ing iz cause۔t by peoples?” “Most
suffer۔ing iz
emotional, and iz cause۔t
by peoples. Yes. If all but a few aberrations behave۔d moral۔ly, most suffer۔ing would disappear “ “A big if. Prophets, even moralists, have been instruct۔ing peoples dur millenniums
to behave moral۔ly –
without huge success.” “Actual۔ly most peoples do behave
moral۔ly. It iz the exceptions who cause most of the
misery.” Carolina
nod۔d. “Un۔moral
behavior generate un۔happy۔ness.” “Correct. If everybody follow۔d the Golden Rule – treat others as you would
like to be treat۔t –
the vast resources present۔ly
spend۔d on war and law
enforcement would be vast۔ly
minimize۔t, so that
vast new recourses could insure everybody sufficient food and medical and
dental treatment. Peoples could be live۔ing as though in paradise. Dur the
walk home Carolina agree۔d
that much suffer۔ing –
perhaps indeed most – wuz cause۔t
by other peoples’ selfish behavior. ‘But
how do that relate to the loss of my baby?’ * The chief
theologor at Santa Maria Theological College, Jorge Gonzales, agree۔d to meet Carolina Mendez
after she tell۔d he on
the telephone, “I have been a dedicate۔d
Christian all my life, and I recent۔ly
loose۔d my
11-month-old daughter. I iz search۔ing for answers.” “Come on
over,” he had reply۔d. To her
surprise, he wuz a much young۔er
than she had image۔d: a young man with bush۔y brown hairs, still with a trace of his baby
face. She sit۔d in his office, spacious, with a tall wide
window behind he overlook۔ing
a tangle of green plants. After
introductions, she comment۔d,
“You iz so young for such an important job.” “The
Vatican know that dur this period of accelerate۔ing
change the Catholic church must either adapt or lose relevance. Here at the university we iz encourage۔t to explore ideas, few
which ever see the (public) light of day.
It iz the pope, ofcourse, who set policy.” “Well, that
certain۔ly iz
impressive, and I must confess I envy your job.
I minor۔d in
philosophy at Pontifical, and have always been religious. The philosophy of religion – iz not that what
theology iz?” “I never
consider۔d it that
way.” She laugh۔d. “Nor do۔d I.” Her face become serious. “You can see I iz past grieve۔ing for my little one. I iz here to find the answer to a
question. I had talk۔d to my priest, a moralist,
and a sciencor, without satisfactory result.” “Ask, and I
will do my best.” “Why do۔d God create a world of
such suffer۔in?” “Therefore
you iz a bit of a theologor.” “A dabble۔or.” She pause۔d. “I will re۔phrase
it. “God iz all-love۔y and all-powerful. Why do he allow suffer۔in?” “A worth۔y question,” comment۔d Jorge, “and ofcourse you
iz·not the first to ask it. Broad۔ly speak۔ing, in my own non۔orthodox view, God iz not a
“he”, not a superduper male (or even female) capable of control۔ing nature as though via
puppet strings, who can swat armys as though blackflys.” “The Bible
say he iz. God create۔d the heavens and the Earth
dur only six days, so I guess there iz not much he could not do.” “Sciencors estimate that between the time
planet Earth wuz form۔d
and animals roam۔d on
it, billions of years pass۔d. Therefore, for me, six days obvious۔ly mean six symbolic days,
six eras. Which to my mind prove that
atleast some Biblical storys iz symbolic.” “Well, I
dont necessary۔ly take
the Bible literal۔ly.” Carolina pause۔d. “What about my question?” “The power
of God to alter certain events may be limit۔t. Western Christianity’s pre۔science insistence on an
omnipotent God who can manipulate everythin iz, in the view of many of we here
at the college, outdate۔y. “Outdate۔y?” “God iz
certain۔ly not outdate۔y, but our concept of God iz
outdate۔y.” “How, then,
should we view God?” “As non۔view۔able.
Non۔know۔able. God iz too great for tiny intellects feed۔d with minimal, main۔ly un۔correct info, to
comprehend. God best remain a mystery.” “You iz say۔ing God iz not omnipotent,
iz not all-powerful?” “I iz say۔ing that iz possible. Let we review the arguement. God iz omnipotent, while on Earth peoples
suffer, therefore God allow suffer۔in
– the logic of those who ask the question.
The flaw in the arguement iz an un۔correct
premise: either God dont usual۔ly interfere with natural
processes, or God cant.” “Well, difficult to believe that the God who
create۔d the world
cant manipulate it.” “Restrictions
if any on what God can do may be physical, or may be mandate۔t by spiritual laws we
peoples know nothin about.” “God,
subject to spiritual laws?” “Why
not? We dont know. That iz the essential point. We know that we dont know. Or it may be God’s preference: parents often withhold favors for they's children
that they iz physical۔ly
capable of provide۔ing. The little boy consider۔d his mother cruel for not
give۔ing he candy,
which he dint comprehend would have ruin۔d
his appetite for a nutritious dinner.” “Iz you say۔ing prayer iz not
effective?” ask۔d
Carolina. “Prayer iz
certain۔ly effective.” “If God iz
not all-powerful, how can we pray for miracles?” “It iz
possible God could be less than all-powerful but could still conduct what
peoples consider miracles. Note: even 100 years ago a man walk۔ing on the moon would have
been consider۔d a
miracle.” “So dont
pray for somethin too difficult,” she say۔d
sarcastic۔ly. “Alike keep۔ing
a deform۔t baby
alive.” “Pray for
whatever you want. But expect۔ing God to reverse natural
processes may be ask۔ing
too much.” “If God
dont interfere with natural processes, who iz God?” “God iz
mysteryous. God iz too great for we to
intellectual۔ly comprehend.
We need faith.” “God could
not have save۔d my
baby even if God want۔d
to?” she summarize۔d. “Second-guess۔ing God iz a win۔less task.” Carolina
breathe۔d in and then
out with an exaggerate۔y
sound. “God’s ways iz a mystery, thus we
cant know they. That iz not satisfy۔y.” “But the
fact iz, God iz a mystery, whether we like it or not. For centurys Catholic authoritys insist۔d that they's specific
version of God wuz the only correct one, and so severe۔ly punish۔d
those who public۔ly un۔agree۔d, that when sciencors
begin۔d to prove
they's version of reality wrong, the church had maneuver۔d itself into a corner. Now Europens, who develop۔d Christianity into the world’s
most popular religion, iz practical۔ly
atheistic. Catholics iz final۔ly learn۔ing not to second-guess
science, only to be prove۔t
non۔refute۔ably wrong.” The essence
of the smart young theologor’s arguements, Carolina summarize۔d dur her bus ride home۔ward, wuz that God wuz
limit۔t in what God
could do. But her faith wuz too strong
to believe that. `God can do
anythin.’ Of that she feel۔d certain. * It wuz·not
by chance that Carolina Mendez dur her search to resolve a conflict at the root
of her Christian beliefs, which include۔d
a promise to herself to `leave no stone non۔turn۔t’, seek۔d the opinion of an
atheist. She had to look no far۔er than her neighbors,
mistor and misses Alvarez. Particular۔ly mistor Sergio Alvarez
wuz outspoken against the existence of God whenever the opportunity arise۔d – so much so, Carolina
had once think۔d, that
down deep he probable۔ly
do۔d
believe in God. They talk۔d one sunshine۔y Saturday afternoon, stand۔ing on opposite sides of
they's front-lawn bodywaist-high wood۔y
fence. “Why do God
allow suffer۔ing?” Carolina wuz wear۔ing a brown dress, knee length, cinch۔d at the bodywaist. “Because there iz no God.” Mistor Alvarez wuz bald and fat, and always
friend۔y. “Well, your
answer iz certain۔ly clear.” And certain۔ly
expect۔t. “Easy
answer. God iz a fictitious concept,
bring۔t on by
desperation. The correct question iz
‘Why do۔d my baby
die’, and the correct answer iz: bad
luck that her lung wuz deform۔t,
and bad luck that doctors could not repair it.” “That dont seem comfort۔ing.” “It iz
not. That iz why it iz not accept۔d as truth.” “To some,
the paradox that God iz all-love۔y
and all-powerful, but allow enormous suffer۔in,
demonstrate that God do not exist.” “Flawful
logic. Proof iz not need۔d that God do not
exist. Proof iz need۔d that God do
exist.” “Proof
can·not be forthcomey because God iz not observe۔able
via sight, sound, smell, touch, or taste.” “Belief in
God iz comfort۔ing,
but do not alter reality.” * Regard۔in her marriage to
Fernando, Carolina wuz satisfy۔d. She thrive۔d
on her independence, her freedom, although somewhat guilt۔ly she regard۔d it as selfish۔ness. As a wife, she assume۔d community respect, and she feel۔d protect۔t from stray glances from
strange mans by her wed۔ing
finger·ring. When her
husband return۔d,
always with money for she, she treat۔d
he alike a king. He seem۔d secret۔ly relieve۔d that the burden of Rosita
had pass۔d, although
he notice۔d, he say۔d, imprintstamp۔t on her mouth, melancholy
he had not see۔d
before. They dine۔d with they's parents, attend۔d two movys, eat۔d at restaurants, stroll۔d in publicparks. They
agree۔d not to try for
another baby, but, proper۔ly
protect۔t, she allow۔d he fun with she. One night
at dinner she ask۔d
he, “Why do you think all this happen۔d?” She mean۔d
the come۔ing and go۔ing of they's baby. He shake۔d his head. “I have no idea. I iz mere۔ly
a sailor, with minimal school۔in. But I suppose God know۔d what he wuz do۔ing.” Final۔ly he become۔d jitter۔y again, and soon afterward
accept۔d a job on a
ship. He had stay۔d not quite two months, and give۔d she his entire
salary. As she watch۔d his freightor ship move
away from the dock, he stand۔ing
in a row of sailors look۔ing
down۔ward, she brush۔d away tears. Yet after his ship had sail۔d around the corner of the
harbor and out of sight, walk۔ing
home in a cold wind, she thank۔d
God for bring۔ing she
such a good husband while allow۔ing
herself to be so free. * Watch۔ing television, Carolina,
when she wuz alone, wuz a channel change۔or,
constant۔ly press۔ing buttons on the
remote-control device to change shows on the screen. She remain۔d
a strict Catholic, resist۔ing
a world-around trend of Christian Catholics migrate۔ing to Christian evangelical churches, but she
like۔d to watch·listen
evangelical charismatic minister۔ors
on television. The main difference
between the two approaches to Christianity, in her view, wuz that evangelical
minister۔ors discuss۔d at length present-day
problems and they's Christian solutions.
Spouses separate۔t
by physical distances, un۔compatible
marriages, joint child custody, even loss of a child – wuz topics Carolina had
earhear۔t discuss۔t on varyous television
shows. Catholicmass, contrast۔ly, wuz almost entire۔ly ritual ceremony. That wuz
how one night she stumble۔d
on program entitle۔d,
“Have Faith in God’s Plan for You”. The
title immediate۔ly
attract۔d she. The show feature۔d testimonials, oversee۔t by evangelize۔or
minister۔or television
host Juan Marcos, mid۔age۔y, slim and handsome in his
expensive suitset. A young woman wuz
terminate۔t from a job
she dint like, only to be offer۔t
her dream job. Another woman tell۔d of miss۔ing her ride to the
middle·school prom, only to meet the man who become۔d her husband.
After a fruit vend۔or
loose۔d his little
business, he become۔d
a successful carpet lay۔ort. Comment۔d host Marcos, “Apparent
misfortune can, with positive attitude, become a bless۔ing in disguise. God have a plan for each and every one of
we. Know that God always have in mind
for you what iz good. Have faith in
God’s plan for you.” ‘Seem
sensible,’ think۔d
Carolina as she switch۔d
off the television in the middle of a laundry soap advert. `But what type of a plan would involve kill۔ing my little Rosita?’ * Bounce۔ing up and down in her
seat, as the noise۔y
old bus pass۔d by
Cherish Te Buddhist monastery, the mother of none pull۔d the chord, and when the bus stop۔d, step۔d off. Inside a
roof۔less courtyard,
scarlet robe-clad monks, they's heads shave۔t,
hover۔d near a
life-size۔y gold-plate۔t Buddha statue. Pungent smoke from numerous sticks of incense
float۔d through the
air. A monk – a
man with a kind smile who seem۔d
old۔er than most
others – approach۔d,
welcome۔d the
newcomorm, and ask۔d
if he could help she. “I hope you
can. I have come with a question.” He invite۔d she to sit, and lead۔d she along a walk·way
beside a long brick one-floor·level۔y
build۔in he identify۔d as learnclass·rooms, into
a thick۔ly plant۔t courtyard, to a bench
face۔ing a mini۔pond in which swim۔d orange fishes. “Perfect
place!” exclaim۔d
Carolina. “Why do۔d my innocent baby have to die?” she burst۔d, and then, astonish۔y herself, weep۔d non۔control۔ably. Final۔ly she accept۔d the hanky he hand۔d she, and dry۔d her eyes. “Karma,”
answer۔d the monk. “What?” “You ask۔d why your baby die۔d. The answer iz karma.” “Karma?” She had read۔d
about the concept, but had never think۔d
to apply it to her life. “Dur this
or a former life۔time
you cause۔d somebody
to suffer, therefore now it iz your turn.” “Harsh.” “Karma iz
impartial. And precise; only it's time۔ing varies. Alikewise good deeds generate good karma.” “And I also, a religious woman, I suppose
I iz being punish۔t
because of my own bad karma?” “Why else?” “Well, I guess
Rosie and I receive۔d
what wuz come۔ing to
we.” “Karma in
action.” Carolina
walk۔d away un۔satisfy۔y. She believe۔d
in life after death, consider۔ing
heaven a body۔less
form of existence. But to believe that
she had dur a previous time period live۔d
on planet Earth seem۔d
too far a stretch. And even if she had,
she could not imagine being bad. * That same
afternoon, wait۔ing
for the bus, in a section of Buenos Aires popular with Bharatans, she notice۔d, almost direct۔ly across the street from
the Buddhist temple, a Hindu temple. Despite her feel۔ing of discouragement, remember۔ing her resolve to neglect
nothin in her search for an answer, she stroll۔d
over. Inside, no
monks could be see۔t,
but after a while an old man stroll۔d
by, thus Carolina hurry۔d
out and introduce۔d
herself. “My baby die۔d, and the question iz
why?” “Wuz ta
sick?” “She had
only one good lung, the other deform۔t.” An non۔voluntary
sob escape۔d she. “One day she stop۔d breathe۔ing.” “So... Sorry.
What iz your question?” “My
question iz: why? Why wuz she deform۔d, why do۔d
I birth such a fragile child, why do۔d
she die?” “I
see.” The old man nod۔d. “The answer iz: Your baby wuz an illusion. You concoct۔d
the entire situation in your mind.” “You mean I
never had a baby name۔d
Rosita who die۔d?” “Only in
your mind. Reality emanate from mind.” Reply۔d Carolina, “I have earhear۔d that Hindus believe that
what we call normal life iz an illusion, but, frank۔ly, that strain credence. Iz you and I not stand۔ing here talk۔ing? If I iz imagine۔ing
it, iz you imagine۔ing
it at the same time?” “I iz. We iz.” “Well,
then...” Carolina feel۔d at a loss for words. Final۔ly
she re-center۔d
herself. “Why do۔d God create a world so full of suffer۔ing?” “Asian
socald religions dont personify God the way the eastern Mediteranean religions
Judaism, Christianity, and Islam do. In
the Hindu view, peoples create they's own realitys. Find a quiet place, shut your eyes, and when
thoughts come, let they go, release they, dont pay they attention – they only
relate to a fleet۔ing
world. Meditation render all problems
and questions regard۔in
the socald physical world mean۔in۔less.” “Well,
okay, thank you.” Carolina add۔d, “Comprehend۔ing such an answer iz
beyond me.” “Come back,
and meditate with we – every evenin at seven.
Gradual۔ly all
those materialistic thoughts – include۔ing
your burn۔ing question
– will slip away.” Wait۔ing back at the bus·stop,
Carolina shake۔d her head. ‘How could it be that Rosita never exist۔d?’ Tentative۔ly
conclude۔d she, ‘That
iz no answer.’ * New Age
religion, a term bandy۔d
about dur final years of dee۔twenty
century and begin۔ing
years of dee۔twenty-first,
refer۔d to an amalgam
of diverse spiritual, social, and political elements with the common aim of
transform۔ing
individuals and society via spiritual aware۔ness. The mini۔massmovement
wuz root۔d in
dee-19-century spiritualism and in decade 1960s counterculture, which reject۔d materialism in favor of
Eastern mysticism and prefer۔d
direct spiritual experience to organize۔t
religion. Dur first
Saturday of each month (weather permit۔t)
at the popular publicpark local۔ly
know۔t as Third of
February, New Age practitionors gather۔d
to chat with and answer questions with interest۔t
passby۔ors. One springtime Saturday, Carolina walk۔d past table۔ets with tarot cards, I
Ching coins, astrology horoscopes, and numerous books include۔d Course in Miracles,
Conversations with God, Be Here Now, and numerous Bharat۔y books.
Carolina stop۔d
at the table (empty except for a “General Spiritualist” sign) behind which sit۔d a mid۔age۔y woman with sympathetic brown eyes fan۔d with laugh·wrinkles. After introductions, Carolina blurt۔d, “Why do God preside over
a world with so much suffer۔ing?” After a
pause, the woman say۔d,
“Physical existence as we know it iz soul kindergarten. For peoples, planet Earth iz a train۔in ground, and before we
advance to the next level, we peoples must learn our lessons. We feel physical۔ly tempt۔d
to indulge in un۔social
behavior. God dont hand out free tickets
to paradise. You have to earn your way
to the next level. There iz no free
lunch. Rather, God dispatch۔d messagors to inform we
how to reach paradise – which can be here on Earth. If peoples opt for selfish۔ness, they and those around
they will suffer. Most suffer۔ing iz the consequence of
failure.” Carolina
nod۔d with
approval. “But how do it relate to me
personal۔ly? Those who know me will testify that I iz a
God-fear۔ing
woman. Unless I iz fool۔ing myself, my worst sin iz
my weak۔ness for
listen۔ing
gossip. Yet my baby wuz birth۔t deform۔t, and after a precarious
heartwrench۔y eleven
months, she die۔d. What do۔d
I do to deserve such suffer۔in?” “Your recent۔est question need re۔phrase۔ing. Forex:
by my heartwrench۔y
experience, what spiritual channels have open۔t
that I would not have notice۔d
otherwise?” “Well, that
iz a refresh۔y
approach.” “There iz
no accidents. Therefore there iz a
spiritual explanation.” “What
explanation?” The woman
shrug۔d. “Only you, down deep, can determine that. If
messages iz ignore۔d,
a stubborn or over۔ly
content people may be jolt۔t
out of ta’s complacency.” “I have not
ignore۔d any messages
that I know of.” “To
discover the mean۔ing
behind a life-change۔ing
event, ponder how that event change۔d
you. That iz the key. How have your life improve۔d since your baby die۔d?” “It have
not. Contrary۔ly, I have loose۔d
the two most precious things in my life:
my baby, and my previous۔ly
non۔shake۔able faith in God.” “Give it
time. Keep your mind open for what that
lesson you may be learn۔ing. Because if you dont listen, another shock may
come your way.” That
frighten۔d
Carolina. She still had her mother and
father and her husband. And good
health. And a brain. She hope۔d
there wuz a lesson to be learn۔t
– that would mean that afterall God had been look۔ing
after she all along. Thus to her night۔y prayer she add۔d a request: “If Rosita come۔d
to teach me a lesson, please reveal what lesson.” * For an
answer to her question, How could an all-love۔y
all-powerful God create a world with such suffer۔ing?,
Carolina could think of no other specialize۔or
to ask. Her priest had answer۔d that suffer۔ing spur۔d religious
dedication. The sciencor remind۔d she that peoples wuz
animals, natural۔ly
subject to pain and death. A moralist
contend۔d that lack of
morality wuz the cause of most suffer۔ing. The youthful free-think۔in theologor refute۔d the concept of “God as
superduper male-gender spirit who control every aspect of nature”, suggest۔ing that God could not
change certain things. The atheist
predict۔ably deny۔d God or spirit or soul
exist۔d, and attribute۔d Rosita’s premature death
to pure bad luck. Her husband Fernando dint know. The handsome charismatic television
evangelize۔or implore۔d his flock to have faith
that the life of each people wuz develop۔ing
accord۔in to God’s
plan, add۔ing that
apparent tragedy wuz often a bless۔ing
in disguise. The Buddhist monk believe۔d that Rosita’s death and
Carolina’s own suffer۔ing
wuz pay·back for they's bad deeds dur former life۔spans,
while the Hindu attribute۔d
the entire episode to mind-create۔t
illusion. As for the New Age
spiritualist, she envision۔d
the world as a test۔ing
ground for kindergarten souls, suggest۔ing
that suffer۔in wuz
cause۔t by a lesson
not yet learn۔t. Carolina
dint know what to think, so she decide۔d,
dur a while, to let the feedback ‘simmer’.
But she had not relinquish۔d
her quest. Dur her night۔y prayers she never neglect۔d to beseech God for the
answer. Dur varyous occasions, but
especial۔ly dur her
bus commute to and from Santa Maria Middle·school, she think۔d – sometimes in bits and
pieces, sometimes in broad summarys – about conversations she had had with the
knowledgeful experts. True, she decide۔d,
suffer۔ing do tilt we
toward God, and, true, our spirits iz temporary۔ly
house۔d in the bodys
of vulnerable animals. But she consider۔d beyond credence the idea
that dur a former life۔span
she had do۔d somethin
so evil that God punish۔d
she by present۔ing she
a deform۔t baby, wait۔ing, then snatch۔ing the baby back. Nor could she reconcile the idea that the
life of each people wuz develop۔ing
accord۔in to God’s pre۔determine۔t plan, with the idea of
life being a soul test۔ing
ground, which imply۔d
free will to make choices between good and bad. Many
answers, none entire۔by
satisfactory. Still, no conclusion. * The climate
continue۔d to warm, as
summer approach۔d. One evenin Carolina receive۔d a telephonecall from
Jorge Gonzales, the young theologor at Santa Maria Theological College, ask۔ing she to stop by his
office on the follow۔ing
Saturday mornin “for additional consultation”. When she
arrive۔d Carolina ask۔d, “Do you have an answer
to my question?” “Yes and
no.” “Yes and
no?” “That will
be for you to decide. What I do have iz
a concrete offer. Here at Santa Maria we
thrive on relent۔lessly
inquire۔ing minds such
as yours. If you would like to enroll here
as a student...” “Me? A theology student?” Carolina lookstare۔d at he.
“Why, the idea never occur۔d
to me.” “You would
be a natural. A philosophorm with an non۔shake۔able faith in her religion
– that iz how I – and my superiors – see you.”
He add۔d, “And
the fact that you iz a woman, in a field tradition۔ly and present۔ly
dominate۔t by mans, iz
a plus.” “Well...” Ofcourse she could not afford to quit her
teach۔ing job. “I have
recommend۔d a full
scholarship,” Jorge continue۔d,
“include۔ing tuition
and a live۔in
allowance – which I iz confident that my superiors, after have۔ing an opportunity to
interview you, will approve.” As Carolina
walk۔d to the
bus·stop, she feel۔d
as though in a daze. * At the end
of the school term Carolina quit۔d
her teach۔ing job, and
the follow۔ing autumn
begin۔d attend۔ing Santa Maria Theological
College. Her first-year learnclasses
consist۔d of a
chronological history of Christian theology, start۔ing with the record۔t utterances of Jesus, move۔ing on to Paul, and eventual۔ly proceed۔ing to the Council of
Nicaea, when what wuz to be dub۔t
the Catholic church amalgamate۔d. And never, except for those few moments
between when Rosita wuz birth۔d
and when she wuz diagnose۔t
with a life-threaten۔y
deformity, do۔d Carolina
feel so happy. She intuit۔d, somehow, that her life
wuz final۔ly on
track: she do۔d afterall have a mind for theology (she could
see it in the responses of her professors and fellow students). It seem۔d
that she wuz final۔ly
live۔ing her life in
accordance with God’s plan. And how do۔d she come, by such a
aroundabout routeway, to become an ardent student of theology? Had it not been for the arrival of Rosita,
she would nodoubt have been content to spend her work۔ing life teach۔ing
Espanya۔ese and history
and geography and arithmetic to elementary·school students. A few days
before the close of the first semester at the theological college, Carolina
stop۔d at Jorge
Gonzales’s office, to tell he how much she wuz enjoy۔ing the learnclasses and to re۔express her thanks. “And your
question: have it been answer۔d?” he ask۔d, raise۔ing his bush۔y brown eye·brows. “Yes,” she
reply۔d, “and I believe
you also know he answer.” “Your
baby’s actrole wuz to nudge you into the career God choose۔d for you. She accomplish۔d
her spiritual mission, then free۔d
your time, herself pass۔ing
on to another realm.” Carolina
smile۔d broad۔ly. “What a beautyful way to remember my beloved
Rosita!” * *
* |
To write a comment about the story or the
language, click here. This story is from a collection of Christian short stories, Christianity, by Flora Morales. Click link for details. You have read the story in species language Peoplese, Alike English version. Did you notice how the spelling of the root word never changes? How the past tense is always formed by adding hyphnette "d"? For a quick overview, read Peoplese home page. So are you ready for pure Peoplese? The Sound Spell Same (SSS) version completely eliminates the need to memorize spelling words -- because if you hear a word, you know exactly how to spell it, if you read a word you know exactly how to pronounce it. A 7-year-old boy, after five 15-minute learning sessions, henceforth could spell any of thousands of words in SSS Peoplese. Spend 20 minutes reading the Peoplese SSS page, and you are ready to go. To read the above story in Peoplese SSS, click here. green-giraffe.org home page. |