Wī Dū God Alow Sufer۔ing?
Wut had kēp۔d bābē Rōsēta alīv wuz
prār. Θat wuz θe bēlēf ov her moθer,
Karōlīna Mendez, and in Bwānos Ārēs fyū hū no۔d
θe stōrē un۔agrē۔d. Θus dur θe
winter mōrnin ov 12 Jūlī 2008, wen Rōsēta, krol۔ing
on sit·rūm rug, bēgin۔d
anoθer kof۔ing sexun,
Karōlīna az yūsūal, after pik۔ing
xē up, hōld۔ing xē tū
her xōlder and, pat۔ing
her rēr۔sīd, murmur۔d, “God, plēz dōnt let mī
bābē dī.” Sūn Rōsēta
wuz pēasful۔lē suk۔ing milk from Karōlīna’s
rītsīd brest, and in θe θird-flōr·level۔ē
apartment al wuz gōod agin. “Θank yū,
God,” wisper۔d
Karōlīna az her bābē xut۔d
her ī۔s and laps۔d intū her slēp-brēθ۔in riθim. * Until θrē
monθ۔s bēfōr her bābē
wuz birθ۔d, Karōlīna –
at āj 23 her bodē stub۔ē,
her brown hār۔s kut۔d konvēnyent۔bē xōrt – tēq۔d first skūol·yēr at Santa
Maria Midel·skūol. Her grandmoθer had dī۔d wen Karōlīna wuz ōnlē
siks yēr۔s ōld, but
Karōlīna kud stil rēmember gō۔ing
tū kaθōlikmas wiθ xē, and tūgeθer dā۔ē
rēsīt۔ing θe
rōzarē. Az a tēnājōrm, non۔alīk mōst ov her lernklas۔felōrs, xē had never bēkum
infatūāt۔ē wiθ gī۔s. In her ōpinyon, Bwānos Ārēs’ husband۔s, alīk θōs elswār in nāxun
Arjentēna and θrūout Espanya۔ēz-spēk۔in Amerika, tend۔d tū bē maqō and bos۔ē, θus rēkwīer۔ing from θā's wīf۔s a sertin amount ov kowtow۔ing plus dū۔ing al ōr almōst al θe
hous·work -- xop۔ing,
kōok۔ing, klēn۔ing – and almōst al θe qīld
kār, al in adixun θe wīf۔s’
ōn yūsūal۔bē fultīm
emplōēment job۔s. Som husband۔s
ēven hit۔d θā's wīf۔s. Man۔s
ekspekt۔d θā's wīf۔s tū bē sekxūal۔lē avāilabel; man۔s tipikal۔lē konsentrāt۔d on θā's ōn plejur,
neglekt۔ing θā's wīf’s
plejur, ōrgazim۔ing and
θen rōl۔ing ōver tū
slēp (som snor۔ing). Θerfōr
Karōlīna, raθer θan fōkus on marij alīk sō manē ov her frend۔s, konsider۔d bēkum۔ing a rēlijusnun – ultimāt۔lē rējekt۔ing θe īdēa bēkuz xē luv۔d qīldren, and wix۔d fōr won ov her ōn. Insted, supōrt۔t
bī her larj familē , xē atend۔d
Pontifikal Kaθolik Yūniversitē’s Bwānos Ārēs kampus, komyūt۔ing from her parent۔s’ hous vīa bus. Dur her first yēr, among her lernklas۔s wuz Histōrē ov Western
Filosofē, wiq xē līk۔d
sō muq θat xē desīd۔d
tū spexalīz on θe topik, but her parent۔s
and grandparent۔s
rējekt۔d θe īdēa az
non۔praktikal. Θerfōr xē setel۔d
fōr a tēq۔in
sertifikāt, wiθ a mīnor fōkus on filosofē. Along kom۔d Fernando Mendez, ōld۔er broθer ov Karōlīna’s ōld۔er broθer’s wīf. A man ov fyū word۔s, 27 yēr۔s
ōld, a Kaθolik hū atend۔d
Sundā kaθōlikmas wenever hē wuz on land, hū spend۔d
mōst ov his līf in ōxen xip۔s,
a gōod man, al sā۔d,
hū kud bē depend۔t on
tū rēturn pērēodik۔lē
wiθ monē fōr his wīf and qīldren. Hē
arīv۔d after almōst a
ful yēr work۔ing on a
kontān۔ōr xip, mēt۔d and fal۔d in luv wiθ misterē-ī۔s۔ē Karōlīna, after a xōrt engājment marē۔d xē, rē۔lōkāt۔d wiθ xē intū her parent۔s’ ekstra bed·rūm, and
impregnāt۔d xē. Hē wuz not sūt۔abel
fōr “land work”, hē sā۔d,
sō dur gōod-weaθer dā۔s
wīel Karōlīna kontinyū۔d
tū tēq first skūol·yēr hē wok۔d
around θe sprol۔ing
sitē, oθerwīz hē waq۔d
spōrt۔s and nūz on
televixun at hōm. Hē wuz bēkum۔ing jiter۔ē, xē nōtis۔d, but θā had agrē۔d hē wud not rēturn tū θe
ōxen until after xē wuz setel۔d
wiθ θā's nū bābē. Karōlīna wuz bēkum۔ing akustom۔d tū hav۔ing hē θer wen xē rēturn۔d hōm, but xē konsider۔d hē tyū maqō tū xop ōr
kōok (“woman۔s’
work”), and hē līk۔d
seks “tyū muq”. Xē kwit۔d her tēq۔ing job dur her dē۔seven monθ, dur Ogust yēr
2007. Fernando θen surpriz۔d xē bī anouns۔ing θat bēkuz xē wuz tyū
pregnant tū work at skūol, xē wuz tyū pregnant tū work at hōm, hensfōrθ hē wud
asist her moθer wiθ houshōld qōr۔s. Θus Karōlīna wok۔d her husband tū θe qēp۔est market and kōq۔d hē in bargin۔ing
skil۔s. Θen xē xō۔d
hē how tū kōok, and hē prūv۔d
tū bē a gōod lern۔ōr. Ēven klēn۔ing
hē dū۔d rūtēn۔lē, alθō wen hē wuz
nōlonger around xē ōr her moθer had tū rē۔klēn;
his and θā's definixun۔s
ov “klēn” wuz diferent. Bēnēθ his
sīlent, maskyūlin ekstērēōr, xē nōt۔d
wiθ inkrēs۔ing
afekxun, her huskē sālōr wuz swēt. `Mēnwīel her bodē wuz qānj۔ing,
belē and brest۔s swel۔ing. Her θot۔s
inkrēs۔lē fōkus۔d on θe grō۔ing līf wiθin. In θe
hospital deliverē rūm wiθ θe doktōr and nurs۔s
and her husband, az birθ۔ing
bēgin۔d, xē fēel۔d mōr wonderful θan dur anē
oθer okāxun dur her līf. However, θe
bābē girl, frex intū atmosfēr ov ār, dū۔d
not krī. Θe doktōr had pik۔d xē up and jentel۔lē slap۔d xē on her rēr۔sīd, but θe tīnē pāl-skin۔ē bābē stil dū۔d not brēθ. It wuz θen θat θat Karōlīna, lā۔ing on her rēr۔sīd on her hospital bed,
her husband Fernando hōld۔ing
her hand, sit۔d strāt
up and krī۔d out, “God,
dōnt let mī bābē dī!” An instant
lāter Rōsēta’s litel fās turn۔d
pink, and xē bēgin۔d
krī۔ing. Rōsēta θus
survīv۔d her birθ, but
hospital test۔s rēvēl۔d θat her leftsīd lung wuz
dēform۔t: ov nō praktikal yūs. Mēn۔ing
Rōsēta wud liv wiθ ōnlē won lung, prekārēus۔lē. “Rēalistik۔lē,
her qans ov liv۔ing a
long līf iz diminix۔t,”
warn۔d doktōr Sanqez
hū deliver۔d θe bābē. Bak in her
parent۔s’ apartment,
Karōlīna fēel۔d
hapē. Tū her help۔les bābē hū evrēbodē sā۔d wuz sō kyūt; xē yēild۔d tōtal۔lē
tū her maternal instinkt۔s,
and from θe mōment ov birθ luv۔d
her bābē mōr θan anēbodē in θe world.
But an underkurent ov worē wuz alwās present, and xē rēmān۔d ever-waqful ov her bābē’s
helθ. Bēyond θat, dur pensiv mōment۔s az xē waq۔d Rōsēta slēp, xē fēel۔d puzel۔t. A devout۔lē
rēlijus woman hū never mis۔d
Sundā kaθōlikmas nor dā۔ē
rēsīt۔ing her rōzarē,
xē kud not imajin wī God had, az it sēm۔d,
‘punix۔d’ xē. But, wepon۔t
wiθ prār, xē dētermin۔d
tū yūs her prūv۔t
qanel wiθ God tū kēp her bābē alīv. Xē
had ērhēr۔d manē stōrē۔s ov prār ōverkom۔ing dīer medikal predikxun۔s, and xē had fāθ θat prār
wud sustān her bābē. Her husband
Fernando fēel۔d les
konfīdent. Hē fret۔d about “bad luk” birθ۔ing a dēfektiv bābē. “Beter xē dī now, θan after yū bēkum tyū ataq۔d tū xē,” hē koment۔d. “Ī iz
alredē tyū ataq۔d tū
Rōsēta,” anser۔d
Karōlīna. “Ī no God wil sāv xē. God luv wē, and iz al-powerful. God kan dū anēθin.” Fernando
stā۔d anoθer θrē monθ۔s until Karōlīna wuz strong
agin and had setel۔d
intū a rūtēn. Θen hē bōrd۔d anoθer frātōr xip, and
hed۔d bak ēst·nōrθ۔ward akros ōxen Atlantik. Sins θen,
θe devout moθer’s intens prār۔s
had twīs pul۔d bak
Rōsēta from θe brink ov deθ, bōθ okāxun۔s
after spīn-tingel۔ing
kof۔ing sexun۔s. Resīd۔ing wiθ her parent۔s, suplement۔t bī wut Fernando had lēv۔d in θā's jōint monēbank
akount, Karōlīna qūz۔d
tū stā hōm wiθ Rōsēta, and sō infōrm۔d
her skūol. Bōθ her parent۔s work۔d dātīm job۔s, θus xē stā۔d wiθ Rōsēta alōn. Wen Rōsēta wuz ten monθ۔s ōld, Karōlīna spend۔d wēk۔s tēq۔ing doter tū sā “ma-ma’,
and wen xē dū۔d,
smoθer۔d θe tīnē bēing
wiθ grātful kis۔s. Twū monθ۔s
lāter xē wuz atempt۔ing
tū stand. “Sūn xē wil bē wok۔ing,” Karōlīna predikt۔d qērful۔lē at diner won ēvenin. Dātīm۔s unles θe weaθer wuz warm
and sunxīn۔ē, moθer
and bābē doter stā۔d
hōm. Bēsīd kār۔ing fōr and bēkum۔ing akwānt۔d
wiθ hū xē wuz alredē θink۔ing
wuz a part ov herself, xē dur her manē solitārē mōment۔s kontinyū۔d
tū wonder – θe kwestyon wuz never far awā – wī xē had bēn sadel۔t wiθ a dēform۔t bābē. God wuz omnipotent – al-powerful – θerfōr kud
intervēn in natūral proses۔s. God dint anser al prār۔s, but, ‘Wī xud·not God anser mīn?’ Xē had alwās bēn strikt۔lē mōral, had ōnlē romdāt۔d won man (her husband),
never fāil۔d tū atend
Sundā kaθōlikmas, sā۔d
her rōzarē dā۔ē. Wī wud God kil her prexus doter hū had dū۔d nō rong? Wī xud God punix herself, Karōlīna, hū nō won
kud sā wuz not God ōbēdēent not mōral۔bē
uprīt? Nō, God, xē fēel۔d sertin, wud sustān her
doter intū adult۔hōod,
and som dā medikal rēserq۔ōrs,
hū had alredē invent۔d
artifixal hart۔s, wud
fīnd a wā tū rē۔konstrukt
and rēplās Rōz's lung. Karōlīna wud dū
her part bī kontinyū۔ing
tū liv a Kristēan līf, folō۔ing
al God’s komandment۔s
tū θe best ov her abelitē, and kontinyū۔ing
her fervent prār۔s. * Θat
mid-winter mōrnin Rōsēta, not kwīt won yēr ōld, upon awāk۔ing in her moθer’s arm۔s after anoθer kof۔ing skār, kof۔d agin. Az Karōlīna rok۔d
her bak tū slēp, xē rē-rēmember۔d
her prēvēus nīt’s drēm, in wiq xē lā on her rēr۔sīd
on her mārital bed, lōok۔ing
up۔ward at Rōsēta, hū
rēmān۔d suspend۔t slīt۔bē bēlō θe sēil۔in, hōld۔d aloft bī wind blō۔d from Karōlīna’s
mouθ. Evrē tīm Karōlīna dro۔d in a breθ, Rōsēta wud
bēgin tū fal bak down۔ward,
fōrs۔ing Karōlīna tū
blō kwik۔lē, tū kēp
her bābē up. Nor, despīt inkrēs۔ing fatēg, kud xē stop tū
rest. Xē wuz kompel۔d tū kontinyū blō۔ing up۔ward ōr her bābē wud fal,
wiθ nō end tū θe dilema in sīt. Non۔ekspekt۔lē Rōsēta kof۔d agin, koz۔ing Karōlīna tū rēsūm worē۔ing. Rāz۔ing
a qīld θat kud dī at anē mōment wuz a nervrakē, drān۔ing plejur from moθer۔hōod. Agin Rōsēta
kof۔d. Karōlīna fēel۔d
frantik. Bōθ her parent۔s wuz at θā's job۔s. Fernando wuz stil awā, on a frātōr somwār in
θe Nōrθ Atlantik ōxen. Karōlīna
glans۔d ōver at θe
telefōn, konsider۔ing
telefōn۔ing doktōr
Sanqez. Wen xē lōok۔d bakdown, Rōsēta fās apēr۔d brīt pink. Kof, kof. “Wut,
bābē?” ask۔d Karōlīna
desperāt۔lē. Kof, kof, kof. Θen a haf-kof, and Rōsēta’s litel hed sēm۔d tū gō limp. Karōlīna
ēmit۔d a krī, az xē
mūv۔d her hand tū
bābē’s qest. Θe litel hart xē kud not
detekt bēt۔ing. Her ī۔s wuz ōpen but not mūv۔ing. Moθer put۔d her hand ōver doter’s
mouθ. Nō breθ kom۔d. “Ō, God!”
krī۔d Karōlīna. “Dōnt let Rōsēta dī!” Xē put xē
on her xōlder and pat۔d
xē, az dur manē okāxun۔s
bēfōr, but xē dū۔d not
rēspond. Minut۔s pas۔d, wiq sēm۔d alīk klokhour۔s. Stil nō rēspons. Lōok۔ing down at θe non۔mōv۔ing bundel in her arm۔s, Karōlīna fīnal۔lē aksept۔d
θat her bābē doter wuz ded. “Wī, God,
wī?” xē wāil۔d, az tēr۔s strēm۔d from her ī۔s. “Wī?
Wī? Wī? Wī? Wī?” * * Dur her
pērēod ov mourn۔ing
Karōlīna stā۔d in her
parent۔s’ apartment,
dātīm۔s alōn, klēn۔ing, often wēp۔ing ōver her los but,
inkrēs۔lē, rēturn۔ing tū her bāsik
kwestyon: wī? Al θōs anser۔t
prār۔s, and θen won
non۔anser۔t won. “Wī?’
It wuz not trū, az her husband had wons sujest۔d, θat it wud hav bēn beter had θe bābē dī۔d at birθ, bēkuz dur
Rōsēta’s xōrt tīm on Erθ, Karōlīna qerix۔d
xē. `Wud not it hav bēn grāt if God had
giv۔d mē a nōrmal
bābē?’ Insted, an ador۔abel won hū kud dī at a
mōment’s nōtis. `Wī mē?’ Xē konsider۔d ask۔ing Faθer Martinez, her
prēst, but fēel۔d
xāmful tū bē kwestyon۔ing
God. Nōbodē els – her familē membōr۔s, qurq frend۔s, fōrmer skūol kolēg۔s – ventūr۔d fōrθ an anser. Ēventyūal۔lē, xē rēalīz۔d θat θe kwestyon – wī dū
an al-luv۔ē
al-powerful God alow sō muq sufer۔ing?
– wuz a sērēus won. Nor wud it gō
awā. In fakt, θe vōis in her mīnd kompel۔ing xē tū diskover θe rēson
bēhīnd her trajedē sound۔d
ever loud۔er, demand۔ing an anser. Her fāθ had bēn xāk۔t. Θe
rēlijus ritūal۔s xē
luv۔d, but ōnlē if θā
wuz bās۔d on a
rok-solid foundāxun. `God luv evrēbodē
and kan dū anēθin, θus wī dint hē intervēn?
Xē nēd۔d tū
no. Xē suspekt۔d θe eksplānāxun wud kolor her atitūd tōward
Kaθolisizm and perhaps ēven God. Konfīd۔d xē in her moθer, `On θe
anser tū mī kwestyon hinj mī fāθ.’ Advīz۔d her moθer, “Dōnt trubel
yōrself about it, dēr.” Fīnal۔lē, az winter bēkum۔d springtīm, Karōlīna
rēturn۔d tū tēq۔ing first skūol·yēr – az a
substitūt tēq۔ōr in
vārēus skūol۔s θrūout
Bwānos Ārēs, until a mōr permanent posixun bēkum۔d
avāilabel. Θat alow۔d xē plentē ov varīetē,
plentē tū okyūpī her mīnd. Ēvenin۔s xē kōok۔d fōr her faθer and moθer,
and afterward klēn۔d
θe kitqen. Yūsūal۔lē in θe sit·rūm θe θrē waq۔d televixun until bed۔tīm. Karōlīna
stil had plentē ov tīm tū brūd: les θen
les from θe deθ ov Rōsēta and mōr θen mōr about wut sēm۔d almōst a bētrāl bī God. Xē kud not, xē diskover۔d, rēturn tū her ōld
rēlijus inosens wiθout first fīnd۔ing
θe anser. Mēnwīel her
ī۔s wuz ōpen۔ing tū θe manē un۔justis۔s around θe planet, wiq xē
kaq۔d glimps۔s ov on televixun nūz. Milyon۔s
ov qīldren wuz malnūrīx۔ē,
som tū θe pōint ov starv۔ing
fōr lak ov fūd, wīel elswār milyon۔s
ov pēpel۔s sufer۔d from ōbēsitē from ēt۔ing tyū muq fūd. Milyon۔s
dī۔d ov disēz۔s fōr lak ov avāilabel
vaksināxun۔s. Som qīldren wuz rāz۔d wiθ helθ۔ē
fūd and atend۔d
yūniversitē۔s, wīel
oθer۔s wuz hōm۔les beg۔ōrs in filθ۔ē xantē·town۔s. `Wut,’ wonder۔d
Karōlīna, `kud θōs milyon۔s
ov un۔fortūnat qīldren
hav posibel۔lē dū۔d rong?’ Oθer pēpel۔s wuz birθ۔d blīnd, ōr kripel۔d, ōr dur war۔s, ōr dur famin. Θe mōr θe world’s un۔justis kom۔d
tū Karōlīna’s atenxun, θe gōod·luk۔ēer
xē fēel۔d in her ōn
sitūāxun. Yet xē rēmān۔d az puzel۔d az ever az tū wī a
benefisent God wud krēāt a world wiθ suq sufer۔ing. ‘If God iz
rēalē al-powerful, θen God iz krūel.’
Nōsūner dū۔d xē
hav wut xē dub۔d “θat
krāzē θot” θan xē desīd۔d
tū end her mourn۔ing
and solv θe misterē. ‘Ī wil kontinyū ask۔ing until Ī no θe anser,’
xē rēsolv۔d. * First
ekspert tū bē kwestyon۔t: faθer Martinez, θe prēst ov Santa Maria Kaθolik
qurq. Θe kīnd ōld man, bald wiθ a frinj
ov grā۔ix wīt hār۔s, plump, fat qēk۔s and gōodnātūr۔ē laf·rinkel۔s fan۔ing out from θe outsīd۔s ov bōθ brown ī۔s, uxer۔d xē intū his ofis and ask۔d how xē wuz fēel۔ing, fōur monθ۔s after lūz۔ing her bābē. “Muq beter. Θank yū, faθer. But kwestyon۔s
burn in mī sōul.” Her word۔s tumbel۔d out. "Wī dū۔d
God alow mī bābē tū dī? Wī dū۔d mī Faθer poses۔ing infinit luv and power
alow suq a θing tū hapen? Iz θer grāt۔er retqed۔nes θan a moθer hū lūs۔d her qīld? Wī dū۔d
God krēāt a world sō ful ov sufer۔ing?” Θe ōld
prēst tiltlēn۔d bak in
his qār, prepār۔ing a
rēspons. “And wī
mē?” Karōlīna wīp۔d awā a tēr and kontinyū۔d. “Dū۔d
Ī koz θis? Wut dū۔d Ī dū tū deserv θis?” Θe prēst
skraq۔d his bald
hed. “Perhaps yōr fāθ iz bēing test۔t." Xē frown۔d. “Perhaps.”
Xē brēθ۔d dēp۔lē. “Ī hav sumarīz۔d
al mī kwestyon۔s intū
won.” “Ask it, mī
qīld.” “God iz bōθ
al-luv۔ē and
al-powerful, θus wī dū hē alow sufer۔ing?” “Sufer۔ing iz θe big۔est mōtivāt۔ōr tōward god۔ēnes.” Hē poz۔d. “Miserē iz atrakt۔d tū rēlijon.
Wiθout hardxip, wud wē ēven hav rēlijon?
Rēlijon alēvēāt āngwix, distres, ēven hōp۔lesnes.” “Yū mēn kil۔ing Rōsēta wuz God’s wā ov
urj۔ing mē tū bē mōr
rēlijus? If θat wuz God’s mōtiv, Ī wix
hē kud hav tel۔d mē in
a jentel۔er wā.” Sā۔d θe prēst, “God’s mōtiv۔s iz not alwās klēr at θe
tīm.” “Wut posibel۔lē
kud hav bēn gōod about mī bābē bēing birθ۔t
wiθ a dēform۔t
lung?” Xē wiθhōld۔d tēr۔s. “And θen dī۔ing.” “Difikult
tū θink ov a gōod anser tū θat won,” Faθer Martinez sā۔d simpaθetik۔lē.
“But wē pēpel۔s
kan·not komprēhend, and θus kan·not juj, God’s wā۔s.” Wok۔ing bak tōward θe strēt,
Karōlīna fēel۔d non۔satifī۔ē wiθ θe prēst’s anser۔s. Θat God, no۔d
fōr infinit luv, yūtilīz۔d
sufer۔ing az a wip tū
urj pēpel۔s tū lern
leson۔s sēm۔d tū θe first skūol·yēr tēq۔ōrm non۔probabel. * Antonio
Morelos wuz a rār sīensōr in θat hē wuz alsō rēlijus. Hē and his wīf and twū litel brunet doter۔s regyūlar۔lē atend۔d Santa Maria Kaθolik
Qurq. Won Sundā after θe worxip
selebrāxun, at Sōxal Klokhour in θe Aktivitē۔s
Rūm, Karōlīna kōrner۔d
hē, and ask۔d hē
pōintblank, “Wī dū۔d
God krēāt a world wiθ sō muq sufer۔ing?” Mistōr
Morelos ajust۔ing his
nektī, bēgin۔d tū
ekspres kondōlens۔s
about her bābē, but Karōlīna stop۔d
hē wiθ her hand. “Ī stil grēv, but,
bēyond θat, Ī want an anser tū mī kwestyon.
Mī ōn sufer۔ing
iz miniskyūl kompār۔d
tū θōs ov milyon۔s
elswār. Wī dū۔d God krēāt a world wiθ sō muq sufer۔in?” “Bēkuz
pēpel۔s iz animal۔s. Θat iz yōr anser,” stāt۔d θe sīensōr, a
zūlojōr. “Pēpel۔s iz animal۔s
wiθ sōul۔s, but wē iz
stil animal۔s wiθ bodē۔s nonthe۔les. And animal۔s
iz somtīm۔s birθ۔d dēform۔t ōr bēkum handikap۔t, manē iz hunt۔t, θā bēkum injur۔t, sukum tū aksidant-s, θā
sufer from natūral disaster۔s,
θā bēkum ōld, infirm, θā dī.” Xē folō۔d his glans, ōver tū wār
his wīf and doter۔s
sit۔d at a round tābel
haf۔wā akros θe rūm
munq۔ing on kāk. “Plēz kontinyū.” “Dur rēsent۔est sentūrē۔s sīensōr۔s hav diskover۔d kyur۔s, sō θat pēpel۔s’ līf۔span۔s hav dubel۔d,
but wē stil hav far tū gō. Θus pēpel۔s iz destin۔t tū sufer. Karōlīna
nod۔d. “Ī sē.” “Often wen
won pēpel dī, manē sufer.” “Xur.” “Pēpel۔s iz an evolūxunārē
spēxē. Wē iz atend۔ing θe skūol ov hard nok۔s. Θe nok۔s
hurt. Burn yōr finger, and hensfōrθ yū
iz kārful ov fīer. And how often iz deθ
– θe non۔eskāp۔abel fāt ov al animal۔s -- plezant? Ēven θe θot ov deθ koz۔s som pēpel۔s
distres.” “Yū māk it
sound sō natūral.” “Wen
envīeronment qānj۔s,
az it alwās dū, spēxē۔s
ēθer adapt ōr dī. Dēfōrmitē۔s – fizikal aberaxun۔s -- iz sentral tū θe θērē
ov evolūxun, wiq stāt۔s
θat in rār kās۔s wār
θōs dēfōrmitē۔s
(fōreks long۔er fang۔s) inkrēs θe qans fōr
survīval, θat animal’s ofsprin wil hav a beter qans ov survīv۔ing, etsetera, until,
multipel birθsīkel۔s
lāter, θat trāt wil hav enriq۔d
θe entīer spēxē. Mōst dēfōrmitē۔s iz dedend fāilūr۔s, but a skant fyū bēkum
bild۔ing blok۔s tū prēserv and advans θe
spēxē.” Karōlīna
nod۔d. “Rōsēta’s dēform۔t lung māk mōr sens in θe big skēm ov θing۔s.” Θe sīensōr,
after a kwik glans at his sit۔in
familē, nod۔d. “Pēpel۔ēz
iz spērit۔s in bodē۔s. Wē kant eskāp θe bīolojē, kemistrē, and
fiziks ov animal līf.” Rīd۔ing hōm after qurq wiθ her
moθer and faθer, Karōlīna fēel۔d,
wiθout no۔ing wī,
beter. Trū, az xē had lern۔d in midel·skūol bīolojē
klas, dēfōrm۔ē birθ۔s wuz θe kē ingrēdēent fōr
spēxē evolūxun, and θus fōr survīval wiθin qānj۔ing
envīeronment۔s. And, trū, almōst al dēfōrmitē۔s fāil۔d tū enriq θe spēxē. `Bēing animal۔s,
wē iz bound tū sufer in fizikal wā۔s,’
xē had lern۔d from θe
sīensōr. ‘Part ov θe anser,’ Karōlīna’s
instinkt tel۔d xē,
`but ōnlē part.’ * “Wut eksakt۔lē iz a moralist?” ask۔d Karōlīna. Xē wuz sit۔ing in an ofis, fās۔ing on θe oposit sīd ov a
glas۔top desk a
midel-āj۔ē woman,
plump, weār۔ing a grēn
twū-pēs sūtset. Karōlīna had nōtis۔d her advert in θe rēr ov
“Spiritualist”, a gratis monθ۔ē
magazēn dedikāt۔d tū
alternātiv spiritūal aprōq۔s. Xē had alredē pā۔d her fē. “A moralist
iz sombodē hū emfasīz mōralitē az θe kōrnerstōn ov hapē۔nes.” “Dōnt al
rēlijon۔s emfasīz
mōralitē?” “Θā dū, but
az sīd ixyū۔s, ad-on۔s, sō tū spēk. “Θerfōr
moralists iz āθēist۔s?”
kwestyon۔d Karōlīna. Teresa
Hernandez xāk۔d his
hed, nō. Moralists, filosofik۔lē, iz arēlijēus: nēθer rēlijus, agnostik, nor āθēist. Wē konsider rēlijon non-esenxal in solv۔ing θe world’s grāt problem۔s. Mōralitē iz wut iz nēd۔d, not rēlijon. Rēlijon۔s
tēq som mōral۔s, but
vīōlāt oθer۔s. Lōok wut θe rēlijus Yūropēn۔s hav dū۔d tū θāself۔s θrūout θā's twū-milenēum
long histōrē ov lēθal war۔s. Rēlijon۔s
somtīm۔s ēven dū mōr
harm θan gōod: fōreks, θe Krūsād۔s, and wiqorm-burn۔in. Nor iz rēlijon nesesārē fōr mōralitē. Lōok at present-dā Western Yūrop – a mōral
but esenxal god۔les
sōsīetē – and Qīna – histōrik۔bē
and prezent۔by God۔les – az prūf.” “Θus yū
personal۔lē iz an
āθēist?” “Heven۔s, nō. Ī iz a qurq-gō۔ing
evanjelīz۔ōr. Ēq moralist, alīk evrēbodē els, desīd fōr
tāself about rēlijon. Fōr wē, wut iz
impōrtant iz θat pēpel۔s
komprēhend θat mōral bēhāvyōr iz θe kēstōn tū glōbal hapē۔nes.” Karōlīna
nod۔d, mōxun۔ing fōr xē tū kontinyū. “Mōral
evolūxun iz a slō proses, wiθ manē rēvers step۔s. But mōralitē kan bē tēq۔t. Θe mōr pēpel۔s
lern from θā's tēq۔ōrs,
θe les θā wil nēd tū lern θe hard – sufer۔ing
– wā. “Wut about
lo?” “Lo۔s and mōralitē mā ōr mā not
ōverlap. Strikt but fār lo۔s wiθ sensibel punixment۔s kontribyūt tū mōralitē bī
limit۔ing
temptāxun. Wār θer iz a konflikt bētwēn
θe twū, mōralitē xud alwās trump lo.
Eksampel: Dū not fīt in an armē’s
un۔just mixun.” “Ī
komprēhend.” Xē brēθ۔d dēp۔lē. A sīlens,
θe first ov θā's mēt۔ing. “Now,” sā۔d θe moralist. “Yū sā۔d
yū had a kwestyon?” Xē nod۔d. “Wī dū God alow pēpel۔s tū sufer?” “God dōnt
‘alow’ pēpel۔s tū
sufer; on θe kontrārē, pēpel۔s
māk dēsixon۔s, ēven
selekt līf-stīl۔s, wiq
rēsult in θā's ōn sufer۔ing. Wē hav θe frē wil tū qūs rīt from rong – hens
θe posibelitē ov ēvil – and if wē qūs rong θer iz konsekwens۔s.” Xē poz۔d. “Mōst sufer۔ing
θēz dā۔s iz nōlonger
fizikal but emōxunal. Mōst pēpel۔s nōlonger nēd tū fōraj fōr
fūd dur a drout, but kud lūz spous, qīldren, and hous in divōr۔s lokōrtrīal. Tūdā mōst ov pēpel۔s' sufer۔ing
iz koz۔t bī oθer's
pēpel۔s’ un۔mōral akt۔s.” Karōlīna
nod۔d. “Eksampel۔s?” “War, θe
grāt koz ov pēpel۔s’
sufer۔ing, dur θe
rēsent۔est sentūrē kil۔ing mōr θan 100 milyon
pēpel۔s. Krīm kil۔d
and hurt۔d milyon۔s mōr. For evrē deθ, manē sufer. Lopsīd۔ē
distribyūxun ov welθ, som pēpel۔s
wiθ mōr θan θā kud ever spend, oθer۔s
wiθ not enuf tū ēt. Desēt split marij۔s, bētrāl end frendxip۔s, lēv۔ing fēel۔ins ov rēzentment and
distres. Selfix۔nes and grēd, fōreks wen divīd۔ing inheritens, tēr familē۔s apart, never wiθout
agonē.” “Θus yū iz
sā۔ing mōst sufer۔ing iz koz۔t bī pēpel۔s?” “Mōst sufer۔ing iz emōxunal, and iz koz۔t bī pēpel۔s. Yes.
If al but a fyū aberaxun۔s
bēhāv۔d mōral۔lē, mōst sufer۔ing wud disapēr “ “A big if. Profet۔s,
ēven moralists, hav bēn instrukt۔ing
pēpel۔s dur milenēum۔s tū bēhāv mōral۔lē – wiθout hyūj sukses.” “Aktūal۔lē mōst pēpel۔s dū bēhāv mōral۔lē. It iz θe ekseptxun۔s hū koz mōst ov θe miserē.” Karōlīna
nod۔d. “Un۔mōral
bēhāvyōr jenerāt un۔hapē۔nes.” “Korekt. If evrēbodē folō۔d θe Gōlden Rūel – trēt oθer۔s az yū wud līk tū bē trēt۔t – θe vast rēsōrs۔s present۔lē spend۔d on war and lo enforsment
wud bē vast۔lē minimīz۔t, sō θat vast nū rēsōrs۔s kud inxur evrēbodē
sufixent fūd and medikal and dental trētment.
Pēpel۔s kud bē
liv۔ing az θō in
paradīs. Dur θe wok
hōm Karōlīna agrē۔d
θat muq sufer۔ing –
perhaps indēd mōst – wuz koz۔t
bī oθer pēpel۔s’
selfix bēhāvyōr. ‘But how dū θat rēlāt
tū θe los ov mī bābē?’ * Θe qēf
θēolojōr at Santa Maria Θēolojikal Kolej, Jōrhā Gonzales, agrē۔d tū mēt Karōlīna Mendez
after xē tel۔d hē on
θe telefōn, “Ī hav bēn a dedikāt۔d
Kristēan al mī līf, and Ī rēsent۔lē
lūs۔d mī 11-monθ-ōld
doter. Ī iz serq۔ing fōr anser۔s.” “Kom on
ōver,” hē had rēplī۔d. Tū her
surpriz, hē wuz a muq yung۔er
θan xē had imaj۔d: a yung man wiθ bux۔ē brown hār۔s,
stil wiθ a trās ov his bābē fās. Xē sit۔d in his ofis, spāxus, wiθ
a tal wīd windō bēhīnd hē ōverlōok۔ing
a tangel ov grēn plant۔s. After
intrōdukxun۔s, xē
koment۔d, “Yū iz sō
yung fōr suq an impōrtant job.” “Θe Vatikan
no θat dur θis pērēod ov akselerāt۔ing
qānj θe Kaθolik qurq must ēθer adapt ōr lūz relevans. Hēr at θe yūniversitē wē iz enkouraj۔t tū eksplor īdēa۔s, fyū wiq ever sē θe
(publik) līt ov dā. It iz θe pōp,
ovkōrs, hū set polisē.” “Wel, θat
sertin۔lē iz impresiv,
and Ī must konfes Ī envē yōr job. Ī
mīnor۔d in filosofē at
Pontifikal, and hav alwās bēn rēlijus.
Θe filosofē ov rēlijon – iz not θat wut θēolōjē iz?” “Ī never
konsider۔d it θat wā.” Xē laf۔d. “Nor dū۔d Ī.” Her fās bēkum sērēus. “Yū kan sē Ī iz past grēv۔ing fōr mī litel won. Ī iz hēr tū fīnd θe anser tū a kwestyon. Ī had talk۔d
tū mī prēst, a moralist, and a sīensōr, wiθout satisfaktōrē rēsult.” “Ask, and Ī
wil dū mī best.” “Wī dū۔d God krēāt a world ov suq
sufer۔in?” “Θerfōr yū
iz a bit ov a θēolojōr.” “A dabel۔ōr.” Xē poz۔d. “Ī wil rē۔frāz
it. “God iz al-luv۔ē and al-powerful. Wī dū hē alow sufer۔in?” “A worθ۔ē kwestyon,” koment۔d Jōrhā, “and ovkōrs yū
iz·not θe first tū ask it. Brod۔lē spēk۔ing, in mī ōn non۔ōrθodoks vyū, God iz not a
“hē”, not a sūperdūper māel (ōr ēven fēmāel) kāpabel ov kontrōl۔ing nātūr az θō vīa pupet
string۔s, hū kan swat
armē۔s az θō blakflī۔s.” “Θe Bībel
sā hē iz. God krēāt۔d θe heven۔s and θe Erθ dur ōnlē siks
dā۔s, sō Ī ges θer iz
not muq hē kud not dū.” “Sīensōr۔s
estimāt θat bētwēn θe tīm planet Erθ wuz fōrm۔d
and animal۔s rōm۔d on it, bilyon۔s ov yēr۔s pas۔d. Θerfōr, fōr mē, siks dā۔s obvēus۔lē mēn siks simbolik dā۔s, siks era۔s. Wiq tū mī mīnd prūv θat atlēst som Bīblikal
stōrē۔s iz simbolik.” “Wel, Ī
dōnt nesesārē۔lē tāk
θe Bībel literal۔lē.” Karōlīna poz۔d. “Wut about mī kwestyon?” “Θe power
ov God tū alter sertin ēvent۔s
mā bē limit۔t. Western Kristēanitē’s prē۔sīens insistens on an
omnipotent God hū kan manipyūlāt evrēθin iz, in θe vyū ov manē ov wē hēr at θe
kolej, outdat۔ē. “Outdat۔ē?” “God iz
sertin۔lē not outdat۔ē, but our konsept ov God iz
outdat۔ē.” “How, θen,
xud wē vyū God?” “Az non۔vyū۔abel.
Non۔nol۔abel. God iz tyū grāt fōr tīnē intelekt۔s fēd۔d wiθ minimal, mān۔lē un۔kōrekt infō, tū
komprēhend. God best rēmān a misterē.” “Yū iz sā۔ing God iz not omnipotent,
iz not al-powerful?” “Ī iz sā۔ing θat iz posibel. Let wē rēvyū θe argyūment. God iz omnipotent, wīel on Erθ pēpel۔s sufer, θerfōr God alow
sufer۔in – θe lojik ov
θōs hū ask θe kwestyon. Θe flo in θe
argyūment iz an un۔kōrekt
premis: ēθer God dōnt yūsūal۔lē interfēr wiθ natūral
proses۔s, ōr God
kant.” “Wel, difikult tū bēlēv θat θe God hū krēāt۔d θe world kant manipyūlāt
it.” “Rēstrikxun۔s if anē on wut God kan dū
mā bē fizikal, ōr mā bē mandāt۔t
bī spiritūal lo۔s wē
pēpel۔s no nothin
about.” “God,
subjekt tū spiritūal lo۔s?” “Wī
not? Wē dōnt no. Θat iz θe esenxal pōint. Wē no θat wē dōnt no. Ōr it mā bē God’s preferens: parent۔s
often wiθhōld fāvor۔s
fōr θā's qīldren θat θā iz fizikal۔lē
kāpabel ov provīd۔ing. Θe litel bōē konsider۔d his moθer krūel fōr not giv۔ing hē kandē, wiq hē dint
komprēhend wud hav rūin۔d
his apetīt fōr a nūtrixus diner.” “Iz yū sā۔ing prār iz not efektiv?”
ask۔d Karōlīna. “Prār iz
sertin۔lē efektiv.” “If God iz
not al-powerful, how kan wē prā fōr mirakel۔s?” “It iz
posibel God kud bē les θan al-powerful but kud stil kondukt wut pēpel۔s konsider mirakel۔s. Nōt:
ēven 100 yēr۔s
agō a man wok۔ing on
θe mūn wud hav bēn konsider۔d
a mirakel.” “Sō dōnt
prā fōr somθin tyū difikult,” xē sā۔d
sarkastik۔lē. “Alīk kēp۔ing
a dēform۔t bābē alīv.” “Prā fōr
wutever yū want. But ekspekt۔ing God tū rēvers natūral
proses۔s mā bē ask۔ing tyū muq.” “If God
dōnt interfēr wiθ natūral proses۔s,
hū iz God?” “God iz
misterēus. God iz tyū grāt fōr wē tū
intelektūal۔lē komprēhend.
Wē nēd fāθ.” “God kud
not hav sāv۔d mī bābē
ēven if God want۔d
tū?” xē sumarīz۔d. “Sekond-ges۔ing God iz a win۔les task.” Karōlīna
brēθ۔d in and θen out
wiθ an eksajerāt۔ē
sound. “God’s wā۔s iz a misterē, θus wē kant no θā. Θat iz not satisfī۔ē.” “But θe
fakt iz, God iz a misterē, weθer wē līk it ōr not. Fōr sentūrē۔s
Kaθolik oθōritē۔s
insist۔d θat θā's
spesifīk verxun ov God wuz θe ōnlē korekt won, and sō sevēr۔lē punix۔d θōs hū publik۔lē un۔agrē۔d, θat wen sīensōr۔s bēgin۔d
tū prūv θā's verxun ov rēalitē rong, θe qurq had manūver۔d itself intū a kōrner. Now Yūropēn۔s,
hū develop۔d
Kristēanitē intū θe world’s mōst popyūlar rēlijon, iz praktikal۔lē āθēistik. Kaθolik۔s
iz fīnal۔lē lern۔ing not tū sekond-ges
sīens, ōnlē tū bē prūv۔t
non۔rēfūt۔ablē rong.” Θe esens ov
θe smart yung θēolojōr’s argyūment۔s,
Karōlīna sumarīz۔d dur
her bus rīd hōm۔ward,
wuz θat God wuz limit۔t
in wut God kud dū. But her fāθ wuz tyū
strong tū bēlēv θat. `God kan dū
anēθin.’ Ov θat xē fēel۔d sertin. * It wuz not
bī qans θat Karōlīna Mendez dur her serq tū rēsolv a konflikt at θe rūt ov her
Kristēan bēlēf۔s, wiq
inklūd۔d a promis tū
herself tū `lēv nō stōn non۔turn۔t’, sēk۔d θe ōpinyon ov an
āθēist. Xē had tū lōok nō far۔er θan her nābōr۔s, mistōr and mises
Alvarez. Partikyūlar۔lē mistōr Sergio Alvarez
wuz outspoken aganst θe eksistens ov God wenever θe opōrtūnitē arīz۔d – sō muq sō, Karōlīna had
wons θink۔d, θat down
dēp hē probabel۔lē dū۔d bēlēv in God. Θā talk۔d won sunxīn۔ē Saturdā afternūn, stand۔ing on oposit sīd۔s ov θā's front-lon
bodēwāst-hī wōod۔ē
fens. “Wī dū God
alow sufer۔ing?” Karōlīna wuz weār۔ing a brown dres, nē lenθ, sinq۔d at θe bodēwāst. “Bēkuz θer iz nō God.” Mistōr Alvarez wuz bald and fat, and alwās
frend۔ē. “Wel, yōr
anser iz sertin۔lē
klēr.” And sertin۔lē ekspekt۔t. “Ēzē
anser. God iz a fiktixus konsept, bring۔t on bī desperāxun. Θe korekt kwestyon iz ‘Wī dū۔d mī bābē dī’, and θe
korekt anser iz: bad luk θat her lung
wuz dēform۔t, and bad
luk θat doktōr۔s kud
not rēpār it.” “Θat dōnt sēm komfort۔ing.” “It iz
not. Θat iz wī it iz not aksept۔d az trūθ.” “Tū som, θe
paradoks θat God iz al-luv۔ē
and al-powerful, but alow enōrmus sufer۔in,
demonstrāt θat God dū ot eksist.” “Floful
lojik. Prūf iz not nēd۔d θat God dū not eksist. Prūf iz nēd۔d
θat God dū eksist.” “Prūf
kan·not bē fōrθkūmē bēkuz God iz not observ۔abel
vīa sīt, sound, smel, tuq, ōr tāst.” “Bēlēf in
God iz komfort۔ing,
but dū not alter rēalitē.” * Rēgard۔in her marij tū Fernando,
Karōlīna wuz satisfī۔d. Xē θrīv۔d
on her independens, her frēdom, alθō somwut gilt۔lē
xē rēgard۔d it az
selfix۔nes. Az a wīf, xē asūm۔d komyūnitē respekt, and xē fēel۔d protekt۔t from strā glans۔s from strānj man۔s bī her wed۔ing finger·ring. Wen her
husband rēturn۔d,
alwās wiθ monē fōr xē, xē trēt۔d
hē alīk a king. Hē sēm۔d sēkret۔lē rēlēv۔d θat θe burden ov Rōsēta
had pas۔d, alθō hē
nōtis۔d, hē sā۔d, imprintstamp۔t on her mouθ, melankolē hē
had not sē۔d
bēfōr. Θā dīn۔d wiθ θā's parent۔s, atend۔d
twū mūvē۔s, ēt۔d at resturant۔s, strōl۔d in publikpark۔s. Θā agrē۔d not tū trī fōr anoθer
bābē, but, proper۔lē
protekt۔t, xē alow۔d hē fun wiθ xē. Won nīt at
diner xē ask۔d hē, “Wī
dū yū θink al θis hapen۔d?” Xē mēn۔d
θe kom۔ing and gō۔ing ov θā's bābē. Hē xāk۔d his hed. “Ī hav nō īdēa. Ī iz mēr۔lē
a sālōr, wiθ minimal skūol۔in. But Ī supōs God no۔d wut hē wuz dū۔ing.” Fīnal۔lē hē bēkum۔d jiter۔ē agin, and sūn afterward
aksept۔d a job on a
xip. Hē had stā۔d not kwīt twū monθ۔s, and giv۔d
xē his entīer salarē. Az xē waq۔d his frātōr xip mūv awā
from θe dok, hē stand۔ing
in a rō ov sālōr۔s
lōok۔ing down۔ward, xē brux۔d awā tēr۔s. Yet after his xip had sāil۔d around θe kōrner ov θe
harbor and out ov sīt, wok۔ing
hōm in a kōld wind, xē θank۔d
God fōr bring۔ing xē
suq a gōod husband wīel alow۔ing
herself tū bē sō frē. * Waq۔ing televixun, Karōlīna,
wen xē wuz alōn, wuz a qanel qānj۔ōr,
konstant۔lē pres۔ing buton۔s on θe rēmōt-kontrōl dēvīs
tū qānj xō۔s on θe
skrēn. Xē rēmān۔d a strikt Kaθolik, rēsist۔ing a world-around trend ov
Kristēan Kaθolik۔s
mīgrāt۔ing tū Kristēan
ēvanjelikal qurq۔s,
but xē līk۔d tū
watq·lisen ēvanjelikal karizmatik minister۔ōrs
on televixun. Θe mān diferens bētwēn θe
twū aprōq۔s tū
Kristēanitē, in her vyū, wuz θat ēvanjelikal minister۔ōrs diskus۔d
at lenθ present-dā problem۔s
and θā's Kristēan sōlūxun۔s. Spous۔s
separāt۔t bī fizikal
distans۔s, un۔kompatibel marij۔s, jōint qīld kustodē, ēven
los ov a qīld – wuz topik۔s
Karōlīna had ērhēr۔t
diskus۔t on vārēus
televixun xō۔s. Kaθōlikmas, kontrast۔lē, wuz almōst entīer۔lē ritūal seremōnē. Θat wuz how
won nīt xē stumbel۔d
on prōgram entītel۔d,
“Hav Fāθ in God’s Plan fōr Yū”. Θe tītel
imēdēat۔lē atrakt۔d xē. Θe xō fētūr۔d
testimonials, ōversē۔t
bī evanjelīz۔ōr
minister۔ōr televixun
hōst Juan Markōs, mid۔āj۔ē, slim and hansom in his
ekspensiv sūtset. A yung woman wuz
termināt۔t from a job
xē dint līk, ōnlē tū bē ofer۔t
her drēm job. Anoθer woman tel۔d ov mis۔ing her rīd tū θe
midel·skūol prom, ōnlē tū mēt θe man hū bēkum۔d
her husband. After a frūt vend۔ōr lūs۔d his litel biznes, hē
bēkum۔d a suksesful
karpet lā۔ōrt. Koment۔d hōst Markōs, “Apārent
misfōrqun kan, wiθ positiv atitūd, bēkum a bles۔ing
in disgīz. God hav a plan fōr ēq and
evrē won ov wē. No θat God alwās hav in
mīnd fōr yū wut iz gōod. Hav fāθ in God’s
plan fōr yū.” ‘Sēm
sensibel,’ θink۔d
Karōlīna az xē swiq۔d
of θe televixun in θe midel ov a londrē sōp advert. `But wut tīp ov a plan wud involv kil۔ing mī litel Rōsēta?’ * Bouns۔ing up and down in her sēt,
az θe nōiz۔ē ōld bus
pas۔d bī Qerix Te Būdist
monasterē, θe moθer ov nun pul۔d
θe kōrd, and wen θe bus stop۔d,
step۔d of. Insīd a rūf۔les kōrtyard, skarlet
rōb-klad monk۔s, θā's
hed۔s xāv۔t, hover۔d nēr a līf-siz۔ē gōld-plāt۔t Būdha statyū. Punjent smōk from nūmerus stik۔s ov insens flōt۔d θrū θe ār. A monk – a
man wiθ a kīnd smīl hū sēm۔d
ōld۔er θan mōst oθer۔s – aprōq۔d, welkom۔d θe nūkomōrm, and ask۔d if hē kud help xē. “Ī hōp yū
kan. Ī hav kom wiθ a kwestyon.” Hē invīt۔d xē tū sit, and lēd۔d xē along a wok·wā bēsīd a
long brik won-flōr·level۔ē
bild۔in hē īdentifī۔d az lernklas·rūm۔s, intū a θik۔lē plant۔t kōrtyard, tū a benq fās۔ing a mini۔pond in wiq swim۔d ōranj fix۔s. “Perfekt
plās!” eksklām۔d
Karōlīna. “Wī dū۔d mī inosent bābē hav tū dī?” xē burst۔d, and θen, astonix۔ē herself, wēp۔d non۔kontrōl۔ablē. Fīnal۔lē xē aksept۔d θe hanky hē hand۔d xē, and drī۔d her ī۔s. “Karma,”
anser۔d θe monk. “Wut?” “Yū ask۔d wī yōr bābē dī۔d. Θe anser iz karma.” “Karma?” Xē had rēd۔d
about θe konsept, but had never θink۔d
tū aplī it tū her līf. “Dur θis ōr
a fōrmer līf۔tīm yū
koz۔d sombodē tū
sufer, θerfōr now it iz yōr turn.” “Harx.” “Karma iz
impartial. And presīs; ōnlē it's tīm۔ing vārē۔s. Alīkwīz gōod dēd۔s jenerāt gōod karma.” “And Ī alsō, a rēlijus woman, Ī supōs
Ī iz bēing punix۔t
bēkuz ov mī ōn bad karma?” “Wī els?” “Wel, Ī ges
Rosie and Ī rēsēv۔d
wut wuz kom۔ing tū
wē.” “Karma in
akxun.” Karōlīna
wok۔d awā un۔satisfī۔ē. Xē bēlēv۔d
in līf after deθ, konsider۔ing
heven a bodē۔les fōrm
ov eksistens. But tū bēlēv θat xē had
dur a prēvēus tīm pērēod liv۔d
on planet Erθ sēm۔d
tyū far a streq. And ēven if xē had, xē
kud not imajin bēing bad. * Θat sām
afternūn, wāt۔ing fōr
θe bus, in a sekxun ov Bwānos Ārēs popyūlar wiθ Baratan۔s, xē nōtis۔d,
almōst direkt۔lē akros
θe strēt from θe Būdist tempel, a Hindū tempel. Despīt her fēel۔ing ov diskourajment,
rēmember۔ing her
rēsolv tū neglekt nothin in her serq fōr an anser, xē strōl۔d ōver. Insīd, nō
monk۔s kud bē sē۔t, but after a wīel an ōld
man strōl۔d bī, θus
Karōlīna hurē۔d out
and intrōdūs۔d
herself. “Mī bābē dī۔d, and θe kwestyon iz wī?” “Wuz tā
sik?” “Xē had
ōnlē won gōod lung, θe oθer dēform۔t.” An non۔voluntārē
sob eskāp۔d xē. “Won dā xē stop۔d
brēθ۔ing.” “Sō... Sorē.
Wut iz yōr kwestyon?” “Mī
kwestyon iz: wī? Wī wuz xē dēfōrm۔d, wī dū۔d
Ī birθ suq a frajil qīld, wī dū۔d
xē dī?” “Ī
sē.” Θe ōld man nod۔d. “Θe anser iz:
Yōr bābē wuz an ilūxun. Yū
konkokt۔d θe entīer
sitūāxun in yōr mīnd.” “Yū mēn Ī
never had a bābē nām۔d
Rōsēta hū dī۔d?” “Ōnlē in yōr
mīnd. Rēalitē emanāt from mīnd.” Rēplī۔d Karōlīna, “Ī hav ērhēr۔d θat Hindus bēlēv θat wut
wē kal nōrmal līf iz an ilūxun, but, frank۔lē,
θat strān krēdens. Iz yū and Ī not stand۔ing hēr talk۔ing? If Ī iz imajin۔ing
it, iz yū imajin۔ing
it at θe sām tīm?” “Ī iz. Wē iz.” “Wel,
θen...” Karōlīna fēel۔d at a los fōr word۔s. Fīnal۔lē
xē rē-senter۔d
herself. “Wī dū۔d God krēāt a world sō ful ov sufer۔ing?” “Asēan
sōkald rēlijon۔s dōnt
personifī God θe wā θe ēstern Mediterānēan rēlijon۔s Jūdāizm, Kristēanitē, and Islam dū. In θe Hindū vyū, pēpel۔s krēāt θā's ōn rēalitē۔s. Fīnd
a kwīet plās, xut yōr ī۔s,
and wen θot۔s kom, let
θā gō, rēlēs θā, dōnt pā θā atenxun – θā ōnlē rēlāt tū a flēt۔ing world. Meditāxun render al problem۔s and kwestyon۔s rēgard۔in θe sōkald fizikal world
mēn۔in۔les.” “Wel, ōkā,
θank yū.” Karōlīna ad۔d, “Komprēhend۔ing suq an anser iz bēyond
mē.” “Kom bak,
and meditāt wiθ wē – evrē ēvenin at seven.
Gradūal۔lē al
θōs matērēalistik θot۔s
– inklūd۔ing yōr burn۔ing kwestyon – wil slip
awā.” Wāt۔ing bak at θe bus·stop,
Karōlīna xāk۔d her
hed. ‘How kud it bē θat Rōsēta never
eksist۔d?’ Tentativ۔lē
konklūd۔d xē, ‘Θat iz
nō anser.’ * Nū Āj
rēlijon, a term bandē۔d
about dur fīnal yēr۔s
ov dē۔twentē sentūrē
and bēgin۔ing yēr۔s ov dē۔twentē-first, refer۔d tū an amalgam ov dīvers
spiritūal, sōxal, and politikal element۔s
wiθ θe komon ām ov transfōrm۔ing
individuals and sōsīetē vīa spiritūal awār۔nes. Θe mini۔masmūvment
wuz rūt۔d in
dē-19-sentūrē spiritualism in England and in dekād 1960۔s kounterkultūr in USA, wiq rējekt۔d matērēalizim in fāvor ov
Ēstern mistisizim and prefer۔d
direkt spiritūal ekspērēens tū ōrganīz۔t
rēlijon. Dur first
Saturdā ov ēq monθ (weaθer permit۔t)
at θe popyūlar publikpark lōkal۔lē
no۔t az Θird ov
Febrūarē, Nū Āj praktixunōr۔s
gaθer۔d tū qat wiθ and
anser kwestyon۔s wiθ
interest۔t pasbī۔ōrs. Won springtīm Saturdā, Karōlīna wok۔d past tābel۔et۔s wiθ tārō kard۔s,
Ī Ching kōin۔s,
astrolojē hōroskōp۔s,
and nūmerus bōok۔s
inklūd۔d Kōrs in
Mirakel۔s, Konversāxun۔s wiθ God, Bē Hēr Now, and
nūmerus Barat۔ē bōok۔s. Karōlīna stop۔d
at θe tābel (emptē eksept fōr a “Jeneral Spiritualist” sīn) bēhīnd wiq sit۔d a mid۔āj۔ē woman wiθ simpaθetik brown ī۔s fan۔d wiθ laf·rinkel۔s. After intrōdukxun۔s, Karōlīna blurt۔d, “Wī dū God prēsīd ōver a world wiθ sō muq
sufer۔ing?” After a
poz, θe woman sā۔d,
“Fizikal eksistens az wē no it iz sōul kindergarten. Fōr pēpel۔s,
planet Erθ iz a trān۔in
ground, and bēfōr wē advans tū θe nekst level, wē pēpel۔s must lern our leson۔s. Wē fēel
fizikal۔lē tempt۔d tū indulj in un۔sōxal bēhāvyōr. God dōnt hand out frē tiket۔s tū paradīs. Yū hav tū ern yōr wā tū θe nekst level. Θer iz nō frē lunq. Raθer, God dispaq۔d mesajōr۔s
tū infōrm wē how tū rēq paradīs – wiq kan bē hēr on Erθ. If pēpel۔s
opt fōr selfix۔nes, θā
and θōs around θā wil sufer. Mōst sufer۔ing iz θe konsekwens ov
fāilūr.” Karōlīna
nod۔d wiθ
aprūval. “But how dū it rēlāt tū mē
personal۔lē? Θōs hū no mē wil testifī θat Ī iz a God-fēr۔ing woman. Unles Ī iz fūol۔ing
mīself, mī worst sin iz mī wēak۔nes
fōr lisen۔ing
gosip. Yet mī bābē wuz birθ۔t dēform۔t, and after a prekārēus
hartrenq۔ē eleven monθ۔s, xē dī۔d. Wut dū۔d
Ī dū tū deserv suq sufer۔in?” “Yōr rēsent۔est kwestyon nēd rē۔frāz۔ing.
Fōreks: bī mī hartrenq۔ē ekspērēens, wut spiritūal
qanel۔s hav ōpen۔t θat Ī wud not hav nōtis۔d oθerwīz?” “Wel, θat
iz a rēfrex۔ē aprōq.” “Θer iz nō
aksidant-s. Θerfōr θer iz a spiritūal
eksplānāxun.” “Wut
eksplānāxun?” Θe woman
xrug۔d. “Ōnlē yū, down dēp, kan dētermin θat. If mesaj۔s iz ignōr۔d, a stuborn ōr ōver۔lē kontent pēpel mā bē jōlt۔t out ov tā’s komplāsansē.” “Ī hav not
ignōr۔d anē mesaj۔s θat Ī no ov.” “Tū
diskover θe mēn۔ing
bēhīnd a līf-qānj۔ing
ēvent, ponder how θat ēvent qānj۔d
yū. Θat iz θe kē. How hav yōr līf imprūv۔d sins yōr bābē dī۔d?” “It hav
not. Kontrārē۔lē, Ī hav lūs۔d
θe twū mōst prexus θing۔s
in mī līf: mī bābē, and mī prēvēus۔lē non۔xāk۔abel fāθ in God.” “Giv it
tīm. Kēp yōr mīnd ōpen fōr wut θat leson
yū mā bē lern۔ing. Bēkuz if yū dōnt lisen, anoθer xok mā kom yōr
wā.” Θat frīten۔d Karōlīna. Xē stil had her moθer and faθer and her
husband. And gōod helθ. And a brān.
Xē hōp۔d θer
wuz a leson tū bē lern۔t
– θat wud mēn θat afteral God had bēn lōok۔ing
after xē al along. Θus tū her nīt۔ē prār xē ad۔d a rēkwest: “If Rōsēta kom۔d
tū tēq mē a leson, plēz rēvēl wut leson.” * Fōr an
anser tū her kwestyon, How kud an al-luv۔ē
al-powerful God krēāt a world wiθ suq sufer۔ing?,
Karōlīna kud θink ov nō oθer spexalīz۔ōr
tū ask. Her prēst had anser۔d θat sufer۔ing spur۔d rēlijus dedikāxun. Θe sīensōr rēmīnd۔d xē θat pēpel۔s
wuz animal۔s, natūral۔lē subjekt tū pāin and
deθ. A moralist kontend۔d θat lak ov mōralitē wuz
θe koz ov mōst sufer۔ing. Θe yūθful frē-θink۔in θēolojōr refyūt۔d θe konsept ov “God az sūperdūper māel-jender
spērit hū kontrōl evrē aspekt ov nātūr”, sujest۔ing
θat God kud not qānj sertin θing۔s. Θe āθēist predikt۔ablē denī۔d
God ōr spērit ōr sōul eksist۔d,
and atribyūt۔d
Rōsēta’s prēmatūr deθ tū pyūr bad luk. Her husband Fernando dint no. Θe hansom karizmatik televixun evanjelīz۔ōr implōr۔d his flok tū hav fāθ θat
θe līf ov ēq pēpel wuz develop۔ing
akord۔in tū God’s
plan, ad۔ing θat
apārent trajedē wuz often a bles۔ing
in disgīz. Θe Būdist monk bēlēv۔d θat Rōsēta’s deθ and Karōlīna’s
ōn sufer۔ing wuz
pā·bak fōr θā's bad dēd۔s
dur fōrmer līf۔span۔s, wīel θe Hindu atribyūt۔d θe entīer epesōd tū
mīnd-krēāt۔t
ilūxun. Az fōr θe Nū Āj spiritualist, xē
envixun۔d θe world az
a test۔ing ground fōr
kindergarten sōul۔s,
sujest۔ing θat sufer۔in wuz koz۔t bī a leson not yet lern۔t. Karōlīna
dint no wut tū θink, sō xē desīd۔d,
dur a wīel, tū let θe fēdbak ‘simer’.
But xē had not relinkwix۔d
her kwest. Dur her nīt۔ē prār۔s xē never neglekt۔d tū bēsēq God fōr θe
anser. Dur vārēus okāxun۔s, but espexal۔lē dur her bus komyūt tū
and from Santa Maria Midel·skūol, xē θink۔d
– somtīm۔s in bit۔s and pēs۔s, somtīm۔s in brod sumarē۔s – about konversāxun۔s xē had had wiθ θe
nolejful ekspert۔s.
Trū, xē desīd۔d, sufer۔ing dū tilt wē tōward God,
and, trū, our spērit۔s
iz temporārē۔lē hous۔d in θe bodē۔s ov vulnerabel animal۔s. But xē konsider۔d
bēyond krēdens θe īdēa θat dur a fōrmer līf۔span
xē had dū۔d somθin sō
ēvil θat God punix۔d
xē bī prezent۔ing xē a
dēfōrm۔t bābē, wāt۔ing, θen snaq۔ing θe bābē bak. Nor kud xē rekonsīl θe īdēa θat θe līf ov ēq
pēpel wuz develop۔ing
akord۔in tū God’s prē۔dētermin۔t plan, wiθ θe īdēa ov līf
bēing a sōul test۔ing
ground, wiq implī۔d
frē wil tū māk qōis۔s
bētwēn gōod and bad. Manē anser۔s, nun entīer۔bē satisfaktōrē. Stil, nō konklūxun. * Θe klīmat
kontinyū۔d tū warm, az
sumer aprōq۔d. Won ēvenin Karōlīna rēsēv۔d a telefōnkal from Jōrhā
Gonzales, θe yung θēolojōr at Santa Maria Θēolojikal Kolej, ask۔ing xē tū stop bī his ofis
on θe folō۔ing Saturdā
mōrnin “fōr adixunal konsultāxun”. Wen xē arīv۔d Karōlīna ask۔d, “Dū yū hav an anser tū
mī kwestyon?” “Yes and
nō.” “Yes and
nō?” “Θat wil bē
fōr yū tū desīd. Wut Ī dū hav iz a
konkrēt ofer. Hēr at Santa Maria wē θrīv
on rēlent۔leslē
inkwīer۔ing mīnd۔s suq az yōrs. If yū wud līk tū enrōl hēr az a stūdent...” “Mē? A θēolōjē stūdent?” Karōlīna lōokstārl۔d at hē.
“Wī, θe īdēa never okur۔d
tū mē.” “Yū wud bē
a natūral. A Filosofōrm wiθ an non۔xāk۔abel fāθ in her rēlijon – θat iz how Ī – and
mī sūpērēor۔s – sē
yū.” Hē ad۔d,
“And θe fakt θat yū iz a woman, in a fēld tradixun۔lē and present۔lē
domināt۔t bī man۔s, iz a plus.” “Wel...” Ovkōrs xē kud not aford tū kwit her tēq۔ing job. “Ī hav
rekomend۔d a ful
skolarxip,” Jōrhā kontinyū۔d,
“inklūd۔ing tūixon and
a liv۔in alowans – wiq
Ī iz konfīdent θat mī sūpērēor۔s,
after hav۔ing an
opōrtūnitē tū intervyū yū, wil aprūv.” Az Karōlīna
wok۔d tū θe bus·stop,
xē fēel۔d az θō in a
dāz. * At θe end
ov θe skūol term Karōlīna kwit۔d
her tēq۔ing job, and θe
folō۔ing otum bēgin۔d atend۔ing Santa Maria Θēolojikal
Kolej. Her first-yēr lernklas۔s konsist۔d ov a kronolojikal histōrē
ov Kristēan θēolōjē, start۔ing
wiθ θe rēkōrd۔t
uterens۔s ov Jēsus,
mūv۔ing on tū Pol, and
ēventyūal۔lē prōsēd۔ing tū θe Kounsil ov Nīsāa,
wen wut wuz tū bē dub۔t
θe Kaθolik qurq amalgamāt۔d. And never, eksept fōr θōs fyū mōment۔s bētwēn wen Rōsēta wuz
birθ۔d and wen xē wuz
dīagnōs۔t wiθ a
līf-θreten۔ē
dēfōrmitē, dū۔d
Karōlīna fēel sō hapē. Xē intūit۔d, somhow, θat her līf wuz
fīnal۔lē on trak: xē dū۔d
afteral hav a mīnd fōr θēolōjē (xē kud sē it in θe rēspons۔s ov her profesōr۔s and felō stūdent۔s). It sēm۔d
θat xē wuz fīnal۔lē
liv۔ing her līf in
akordans wiθ God’s plan. And how dū۔d xē kom, bī suq a
aroundabout rūtwā, tū bēkum an ardent stūdent ov θēolōjē? Had it not bēn fōr θe arīval ov Rōsēta, xē
wud nōdout hav bēn kontent tū spend her work۔ing
līf tēq۔ing Espanya۔ēz and histōrē and jēografē
and ariθmetik tū elementārē·skūol stūdent۔s. A fyū dā۔s bēfōr θe klōs ov θe first
semester at θe θēolojikal kolej, Karōlīna stop۔d
at Jōrhā Gonzales’s ofis, tū tel hē how muq xē wuz enjōē۔ing θe lernklas۔s
and tū rē۔ekspres her
θank۔s. “And yōr
kwestyon: hav it bēn anser۔d?” hē ask۔d, rāz۔ing his bux۔ē brown ī·brow۔s. “Yes,” xē
rēplī۔d, “and Ī bēlēv
yū alsō no hē anser.” “Yōr bābē’s
aktrōl wuz tū nudge yū intū θe karēr God qūz۔d
fōr yū. Xē akomplix۔d her spiritūal mixun, θen
frē۔d yōr tīm, herself
pas۔ing on tū anoθer
relm.” Karōlīna
smīl۔d brod۔lē. “Wut a byūtēful wā tū rēmember mī bēlovd
Rōsēta!” * *
* |
*To write a comment about the story or the
language, click here. This story is from a collection of Christian short stories, Christianity, by Flora Morales. Click link for details. You have read the story in species language Peoplese, Alike English version. Did you notice how the spelling of the root word never changes? How the past tense is always formed by adding hyphnette "d"? For a quick overview, read Peoplese home page. So are you ready for pure Peoplese? The Sound Spell Same (SSS) version completely eliminates the need to memorize spelling words -- because if you hear a word, you know exactly how to spell it, if you read a word you know exactly how to pronounce it. A 7-year-old boy, after five 15-minute learning sessions, henceforth could spell any of thousands of words in SSS Peoplese. Spend 20 minutes reading the Peoplese SSS page, and you are ready to go. To read the above story in Peoplese SSS, click here. green-giraffe.org home page. |